Thoughts on Free Range

Dear James, Daniel and Emily,

So I borrowed the book from the Library last week and ran through it in a couple of days. I was really impressed with it. I knew a lot of what was in it because I have been following the blog for quite a while. But it was still quite good, and had some great tips and ideas in it. And now Kim is reading it as well. We are already pretty much on the same page on this but I think it is important that we both embrace what we can.

The thing that struck me though was this: the kids that I know that are the most 'Free Range' of all are Tammy's kids. The hard part of this is that there is a fine line between consciously making an effort to teach your kids responsibility and independence versus being irresponsible and having no control. Tammy's kids are all very independent, and range all over the neighborhood, with Austin being the epitome of the free kid who leaves in the morning and comes home when it's dark. But the kids are also poorly disciplined, wreak havoc wherever they go, and don't listen well to any adults.

So I want to teach my kids independence and the fun that comes with independence. But the one point that isn't addressed is the need to balance that with teaching them that with that independence comes a level of responsibility. Being responsible enough to not terrorize other kids and show respect for any adults they come in contact with. And being responsible enough to clean up the messes they might (make that will) make and admit when they did something wrong.

We are working hard on that responsibility already. It's not easy, James does tend to space the little things. But I think that by the end of the summer we will have laid the necessary groundwork that comes with this. The interesting part of that teaching is that it also allows James to lead by example for Daniel and Emily, and also provides some incentive for Daniel to start learning these things now as opposed to later.

One of the little things I want to show James early on this summer is how to use and take the bus. Not so much for him to go off on his own yet, but to lay the groundwork. And I can combine that with some walking and exercise for myself.