Struggling with my appetite this week

Dear James, Daniel and Emily,

I have been good for the most part (save for someone at work bringing in a large container of Peanut M&M's). But it has been a real struggle. Here I am, work is slow, and I have finished my allotted snacks for the day and I am still hungry. Am I hungry enough to hurt or is it just bored, sitting still hunger?

Yesterday after my run, and dropping off the kids at school I had to make a conscious effort to not stop and grab a fast food 'second breakfast'. Some weeks are like this. Others it is easier. When I started my weight loss journey it was seemingly easy, because I made a big leap in my appetite due to some intestinal problems. Which helped to decrease my appetite. And for the most part that is still the case, I could not regularly consume the amount of calories on a daily basis that I used to without feeling sick. But that doesn't prevent me from occasionally having days where I do eat a huge amount. Or at least what is for me now a huge amount.

The tough part is knowing when it is legitimate hunger, that is my body wanting/craving sustenance from all the work outs. And when is it just my mind feeling hungry, either due to boredom, appetite clues (someone close by has some good smelling fast food) or just simple urges. I am sure that today it is the later, so I have to maintain some mental toughness and focus. And to some extent it is probably also because I loosened up a little last week and I am feeling the increased appetite from that too.

Appetite is different from motivation to exercise. Normally I can now get myself motivated to exercise. I have pretty much crossed that threshold, and weeks like last week remind me how it feels to not get that exercise (miserable, tired etc.). But appetite is different because the reward for restraining myself is less apparent and immediate. I know that if I give in and run over to Wendy's for a Frosty and fries I will inevitably feel overfull and kind of icky. But if I don't do that and just stay here the only real reward is a mental 'atta boy', and the knowledge that I don't feel overfull and icky. Not any where close to the same reward as the relaxing, and energy producing effect of a good workout.

So writing this pushed me past the mental threshold, I can make it past this point with a stick of gum. But it helped to sit down and write out and hash out my thoughts.