Lead with your Heart

Dear James, Daniel and Emily

This is an odd piece of advice but for some reason it hit me this morning. I know that as children everything is about what you want, and part of growing up is learning to harness that to a certain extent. However, my point and advice is to not forget to listen to those 'I want' feelings and sometimes do what they say.

I am a classic example of paralysis by analysis. I have never been great at letting what I want control my actions. In far too many cases I have let my analysis and thinking take control of my decisions. And that has resulted in many cases where I ended up not getting what I wanted.

Your mother, Kim, does not have this problem. She is far better at deciding what she wants and reaching out and getting it. Often times this is why she gets far more done around the house and why she is the motivator for our projects. Like last night, she decided she wanted the old kids table painted and ready to move into Emily's room. So when she got home that's what she did, she sanded and glued and painted. I on the other hand tend to try to adhere to some inner schedule and project plan on these things, and as a result they don't get done.

I guess the thing that triggered this was thinking about some friends of mine. One couple has 1 child and while they talk in general terms about having another the man tends to say no, because he is worried about money, how is he going to pay for this child to go to school etc. If we had let issues of economics override our thoughts we would have had only 1 child and I would have not had the joy that is Daniel and Emily. The other couple that caused me to think is a couple where the man doesn't want to have kids at all. Because he worries about the little stuff that could happen and things that he can't control. He has paralyzed his actions by over analyzing. Some times you have to let your heart guide you and then let the chips fall where they may, more often than not godd things do happen to good people.

Now I have to interject a note of caution, you can obviously go overboard with this. Your aunt is an example of this, she never pauses to think or analyze any decisions, she just leaps into things, letting her life be ruled by her moods. And as you can see that has not worked out real well for her or her children. So some analysis is good, but again don't be afraid to lead with your heart, often times the best decisions you make are those you make with your heart instead of your brain.