10 Lessons to pass along to my children

Dear James, Daniel and Emily

Here is a simple list (some with explanations, some not) of things I want to pass along. It is not exhaustive by any means, and I reserve the right to revisit, revise and redo the list when I want.

1. Lead with your Heart: The point of this lesson is listen to what your heart wants.

2. Know your Dragons. I will expand on this in a later post. But my Uncle Jim wrote a poem about James and the Dragon, which basically was about getting to know those parts of yourself that make you strong and can also cause you to do bad things. And know how to control them.

3. Never stop learning. The Hunter S. Thompson quote I use in the banner I believe says it all: "I've been plagiarizing my whole life it's called learning". Any time you learn anything new is good. I learn every day, and you never know when that learning may come into play.

4. A true sign of intelligence is the ability to see 2 conflicting arguments at the same time. This one came from grandmother Ruch, or at least a variation on the theme. Learn to see the other side of the argument. And it also applies to emotions, learn to empathize with what another person is feeling. Belief in your views is good, but not to the exclusion of different ideas.

5. It's all right to cry. Don't let the media and popular culture brain wash you. I don't mean fall to pieces when your ice cream cone falls on the ground. But when you're hurt, physically or emotionally, crying is a good outlet.

6. Embrace Change. Change will happen, you cannot stop it. In my lifetime I've seen the advent of personal computers, the Internet, the fall of the Soviet Union (and hopefully the election of an African-American man as President). The sooner you embrace change as a constant, and learn to accept it, the better your life will be. Couple that with a thirst for knowledge, and you will live a wonderful life.

7. Reading is reading is reading. When I was growing up my Dad frowned on comic books. And joked about his 'shoot 'em up' escapist reading as not being real reading either. The reality is they are all reading. They all stretch your mind in some fashion and expand your vocabulary. And this will become even more of an issue after you embrace change. Because with the advent of the web, there will be an immense amount of sources of reading, and they are all reading.

8. Learn to write. Not just throwing words on a page, but really write. I am not a great writer, there are some who would not even call me a good writer. But being able to write will get you farther than just about any other skill you acquire. You could be a world class athlete, or a astounding scientist or mathematician, but if you cannot write the chances of people knowing you are one of those things diminishes. And when you get into the workplace, being able to write will be a more valued skill than just about any other skill, except:

9. Be Civil to one another. You will hear people joke about "can't we all just get along" but this is a lesson we all must learn. Learn to get along with your fellow humans, be they male or female, rich or poor, religious or not religious, it doesn't matter. A life where you can't get along with other people will be a poor one.

10. He ain't heavy, he's my brother. The old saying goes you can choose your friends but you can't choose your relatives. But you can choose to be friends with your relatives. I have seen families where siblings do not get along, and it is not pleasant. I don't come from that type of family and the same can definitely be said of your mother. Being friends with your siblings, parents and extended family just about guarantees you will never be alone in this world. Take the time to teach your siblings what you are doing, and you have some one you can always play with.