Dear James, Daniel and Emily,
On Saturdays when Daniel plays T-ball James' job is to take his sister across the park and play in the play ground. I can sort of see the playground from where I stand to watch Daniel and help his team. But I am confident that James will not allow his sister to run into the road, and will scream and run to me if she gets hurt. I know those things. Yet people have looked at me weird for letting my toddler toddle off across the park after her brother without me in tow.
Then last Saturday when we went to library I left Emily with her brothers. And she wandered off because James wasn't paying attention. At which point the Security guard brought her over to me with a note about leaving her alone. Was I worried that she would be kidnapped? Nope, I realized that maybe the library might not be the best place to rely on James to watch her though. So not a change in my approach, just a change in technique.
So I was happy to get a refresher from the Free Range Kids blog today. There are a couple of good posts on here, the one that is really great is the one from the grandmother who keeps running into parents who freak out when she tries to be friendly with their children. Get a grip people! The other day when we were at the park I was pushing Emily on the swing and a little girl came up and asked me to lift her into the next swing, and I happily obliged. When her mom came over and asked her how she got in the swing I volunteered that I had lifted her in, and I got a nasty look. Here I was, pushing my own toddler on a swing so it should have been clear I had no intent of doing anything to her daughter and yet I was somehow the bad guy.
There really is a cultural paradigm that needs to shift in this country. Not every stranger in this country is a pedophile lurking to kidnap a child. People are fundamentally good, and will watch out for children. When the security guard brought Emily to me I was more worried that she was off tearing up the book stacks than she might have wandered off with someone. I know that little kids get confused and latch onto pretty much any adult, it has happened to me where a kid comes up and grabs me by the leg, then looks up and realizes I am not their parent. Not a big deal I help them find their parent and no harm done.
What I am trying to say here, in my incoherent rambling, is I want to raise Independent, thinking children who are ready to tackle the world. Not pants/apron clinging introverts who are afraid to do anything or talk to anyone. One of my proudest moments was when James voluntarily chose to go across the street and play with the neighbors and meet new friends without having me there to pimp for him (I mean arrange a "play date").
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