Cool answers to the energy crunch

Dear James, Daniel and Emily

Gone with the wind and reports of the demise of sail are greatly exaggerated are examples of ways companies are trying to solve the energy crunch, instead of relying on the government to step in. While I understand that government needs to step in sometimes to remedy our economic problems. I am still a believer in the invisible hand of economics. And that force will cause people and companies to adjust, whether they like it or not. And I think that the current world wide energy crunch is doing just that. People and companies world wide are starting to think of new and different ways of doing things.

As someone who grew up in the 70's and 80's I have seen the cycle of boom and bust when it comes to energy consumption. I remember Jimmy Carter telling us all to set the thermostat to 68 degrees. And I have seen the explosion of the uber SUV's. And I knew that the era of the huge cars could not last, any more than the era of the huge luxury cars could last. While our culture has improved it still has a long way to go when it comes to efficient energy consumption. But reading articles like these makes me think that we are headed in the right direction. And in this case it is not the force of big government that is doing it, it is the force of economics that is making people realize they have to find a better way.

The Gas Tax and the New Economics

Dear James, Daniel and Emily

This little story highlights one of the real differences we face in the Presidential election. I sincerely hope that by the time you start reading this we will be talking about the greatness of the Obama Presidency, and how its' message of hope, and the way it embraced cutural change made this country much better. Even if the Obama Presidency is not some hugely dramatic change in our country's history I do think it is important that you understand the differences we faced in the election. On the one hand there was a candidate who embraced his inteligence and education, and yearned to share with others. Who was willing to tell American's: "I do know what is best, and the best and the most popular decisions are not always the same". And on the other hand there was an older candidate who was campaigning on his standing as a military hero, who based much of his campaign on fear: "If you elect the other guy horrible things will happen". And I made what I felt was a clear choice: vote for the man who openly embraced knowledge and not for the man who felt that ignoring the people who really did know better because they didn't really 'know what the little man felt' was good policy.

Pain Management

Dear James, Daniel and Emily

Today it is all about managing pain. A not so funny thing happened last night when I got home. I got real dizzy and basically had to lay down for the first couple of hours, which sucked because we still had work to do in the basement. Unfortunately there was nothing I could do but ride it out. This all boils down to my neck pain. About 6 years ago I developed some serious neck pain, and I went to the Dr. who diagnosed me with an arthritic vertebra and sent me to physical therapy. Which worked for a while, but the pain never totally receded, it has become a part of my life, a very annoying and at times very painful part of my life. Well back in April when we took our trip to Las Vegas the pain hit me like an avalanche. All of that sitting and staring straight ahead or up at an angle for hours and hours really got to me. Well since that trip the pain has been gradually getting worse, it might recede for a couple of days, but it doesn't take much for it to return.

So after having watched everything Lolly went through with her back (and still does) I finally reached a point where I scheduled another appointment with the Dr. This time I am determined that I am going to make him do more than just run his fingers over my neck. I am going to insist on an X-Ray or MRI or both, until I know for sure what is causing this. Because among other things I think it is affecting other things, like my wrist, which at first I thought was a recurrence of carpal tunnel but the more research I do the less I think is likely.

In fact the pain has reached a point where today at work it was so severe that I had no choice but to come home and lay down and spend an hour alternating cold & heat along with an 800 MG Ibuprofen. Tomorrow I have an appointment with the masseuse who comes to our office every week, and I hope he can loosen things up enough for me to last until next Tuesday and the Dr. appointment. And I also might get a different opinion from him. We shall see how it all goes.

I know one thing, I want, no need, to know if I will be forced to a life of pain management and walking on egg shells or if there is a chance I will be able to do fun things like really wrestle with my kids, and carry them on my shoulders and swim with them. All of those right now are as likely to make my pain worse, which makes life as a parent a little less fun.

Daniel's development

Dear James, Daniel and Emily

So we have begun to see some real changes in Daniel this summer. Some for the better, some for the worse. But overall he has really begun to grow up into his own person, and as a result I am far less concerned about his being able to handle preschool. To set the picture, in the spring at his annual check up we were given a reference for him to attend speech therapy. At that time, while physically he was growing out of toddler stage, emotionally he was still very much a toddler. He was very clingy to us, sticking around us, even if James was off doing something. His potty training was progressing but was very subject to a string of bad days. And his speech was not good. So most of his communication was through gestures and us feeding him lines and words.

Well here we are, roughly a month from his entering preschool and he has really grown up. His speech is improving by leaps and bounds, to the point where we can get him to say what he wants most of the time without feeding him the phrase, just the words when he doesn't have them. Physically, while he still hasn't grown a lot (all of our children are on the small side oh well no NFL contracts in our future) he has really gained a lot of coordination. In the spring when he was playing (or practicing really) indoor soccer he was as likely to trip over his own feet as anything else. And his run was kind of a slow, small step mincing kind if gait. Now he runs with confidence and is far less likely to trip over his own feet. And his confidence around other kids has also grown considerably. The YMCA athletic director was commenting to me on Saturday how much he has changed over the course of the summer.

One of the bad/good manifestations of how he is growing is his interactions with James, and it is really throwing James for a loop sometimes. Daniel has begun to be more physically aggressive with James, more likely to initiate a wrestling match than passively letting James just kind of throw him around. And when it comes to toys he is far more likely to assert himself and say that such and such toy is his, and refuse to let James play with it. As Kim noticed yesterday, Daniel is just more ornery towards James now, and James is a little thrown off. James has been used to not just being the boss but also having to be a lot more gentle with Daniel, well those days are mostly past.

Unfortunately Daniel is also displaying this assertion in negative ways. Really testing his boundaries as far as behavior. and occasionally he will do little things to Emily that we have to jump on right away. I guess since it has been about 3 years since James was in the same mode we had kind of forgotten to keep up the discipline. And I am afraid he is a little worse as far as behavior because he doesn't get the same consistent out of home discipline that James got from being in Day Care for so many years. I am confident we will get there, just that we have to be on him more than we have been.

Weekend Recap

Dear James, Daniel and Emily

So this weekend marked a milestone for the summer. We saw the end of the summer activities: Y Sports Camp, Y baseball. There are 3 weeks before James starts school, and 5 weeks for Daniel. So kids, welcome to your real summer vacation.

James and Daniel both had good successful final games of baseball/t-ball. When I explained to James that he would have about 5 weeks off until soccer he decided he wanted to go ahead and play again. So I talked with the Y director and he confirmed that James' indoor soccer coach will be coaching again for outdoor soccer which is good, works out real well for James. We had discussed giving Daniel a break, figuring that starting 5 day a week pre-school would be more than enough to cope with. And we asked him and he agreed that he wanted to just watch James play.

Other than that our big thing for the weekend was working on the basement. We cleaned out the shed on Saturday night, then spent pretty much all day Sunday working on the basement. The goal was to clean out a bunch of stuff that was just creating clutter and do a little reorganizing. And we accomplished most of that pretty successfully. We have a lot of stuff to give away. And we moved some tools and supplies from the basement to the shed. And we will move some toys into some toy boxes in the boys room so that they are not sitting in the kids room just waiting to be opened up and strewn all over the basement. I got some good pictures for before and after that I will post up when the project is finished.

The thing is that James and Daniel have reached the point where they are comfortable just going downstairs and hanging out for hours and hours. And this is good, and we want to encourage it. But we want the basement to not be a disaster area as a result, which can easily happen when you turn an area over to kids. But I think we will have that accomplished by the end of the project: a fun place to hang out, but hard to destroy.

The X Files

Dear James, Daniel and Emily

We all have shows that we like on TV, James & Daniel you both love Sponge Bob, and other shows. Well this is a story about a show Daddy likes. In 1993 a new show was broadcast on Fox on Sunday nights: the X-Files. I didn't watch it at first. Scoffing that it was just a revamp of the old Night Stalker shows from my childhood. I started watching it after the first couple of seasons, but was not an avid dedicated watcher. It wasn't until the movie came out in 1998 that I really started focusing on it. And Kim got hooked as well after watching the movie. So we became avid followers. We did not know then that we had started watching at what was just about the height of the show. That it was destined to fall, and fall it did. Ending with an absolutely painful to watch final season (although I stuck it out until the bitter bitter end).

So when I read that they were making a new movie I had very mixed feelings. I was excited to see something that I loved come back. But on the other hand because the show ended on such a down note I was afraid it would be on the same horrible level as that last show. But I have decided that I will go and brave the chances of it not being as good as I want it to be. I am sure other people in the media and blogosphere will do a very very thorough recap and analysis of the series and the upcoming movie. The reason I am writing this is to capture what I feel about the upcoming movie, write a mini review, and what I feel about the whole thing afterwards.

The thing about the X-Files when it came out is while the basic premise (maverick detective type uncovering cover ups and investigating the paranormal) was not new (see Night Stalker ), the treatment really was. And the key to it was the seemingly very plausible feeling that inside the government there was a massive conspiracy and cover up. And that combined with the wonderful chemistry of the primary 2 characters Mulder & Scully to make an excellent show. The show was at it's best when one of 2 things happened: a paranormal event occurred that they eventually just had to accept somehow. Or when Mulder got this close to blowing the whole conspiracy open only to have the cover up folks swoop in and yank it away, leaving Mulder to have to explain to Scully that something was there, something did happen, really...

Ouch, this stings what a brutal review! Well I won't let it distract me from seeing it.

So today R.D. and I are talking a long lunch/leaving work early so we can go catch the movie, on opening day. I am pretty excited, even though the reviews have not been great. I don't care, I just want to see Mulder & Scully again, and up to date. And if this movie does not do well, and turns out to be the swan song for the series then it certainly cannot be a worse swan song than that horrid final episode if the television show.

The Actual Movie:

Well I liked it. It was an enjoyable little movie. Yeah the plot wasn't overly complex. And many of the characters were pretty basic and wooden. Which was a real waste of Exzibit's talents. But it felt good to see Mulder & Scully again. And the chemistry was definitely still there. I don't think this movie will win over any new converts to the show. I think only true fans will be excited by it. The most exciting moment was when another old character popped up. So I don't think this is a precursor to more movies or a reintroduction of the TV show. But it definitely helped wash out the bad taste that was there from the last season of the actual show. So if you are or were a fan of the show, I think you will enjoy this movie. But if you didn't care for the show or never saw it, I don't think you will be overly impressed.

Projects follow up

Dear James, Daniel and Emily

Well Last night your Mom & Dad were at their best. We had dinner then got to work. Sanding down what will be the toy boxes for James & Daniel, and also finishing the outside bench. Then we got some good cleaning done. We worked together as a team and really got some stuff done.

Now that bench has an interesting story. Lolly was married 4 times, first to grandpa Pete, then Herb, then Sam, and then Jim. Chances are you might see Herb, and maybe you will see Jim. But the likelihood of ever meeting Sam is very low. I won't go into details but suffice to say that while what your Dad got from Herb and Jim was memories, what he got from Sam was stuff. Sam gave me that bench before I went to college and I have kept it ever since then, using it as a coffee table, an entertainment center, and of course a bench. And now it will come back into regular use as a part of our outside furniture.

Anyway Kim & I got to work on those toy boxes as part of our on going new effort to regain control of your toys and play area. Our plan is to take some of your more prized toys and move them to your room, placing them in these 2 toy boxes. Then we will clear out a bunch of toys from the play area, making room for just a select number of toys, particularly ones that do not spread out so much and create clutter. Then some toys will move into storage, to be rotated out once in a while. The goal is to try and keep the play area cleaner and more presentable. And the only way to do that right now, until you get older and show more control over the clutter (especially Daniel) this is the best way to do so.

Gen-Y and the Colorblind Lie

Dear James, Daniel and Emily,

This is an excellent article on the issue of race.

Gen-Y and the Colorblind Lie TheRoot.com



I can hope (and I think we are successful) that for your generation that the goal of the colorblind society is accomplished. I have seen that James acts colorblind (in this area, fortunately he is not physically color blind like his dad). He never makes comments about playing with the black kid or Hispanic kid etc. They are all just kids to him. Of course the fact that Manual is mixed black and Hispanic helps things out, because it's hard to let preconceived bigotry rise to the surface when you have to deal with someone of color as part of the family every day.

And one of the interesting things I noticed at the Rogers family reunion this year is that since 2 of my cousins married Asian American people and my brother has an adopted child of some central Asian background there were an awful lot of little black haired dark skinned kids running around and no one noticed or seemed to care. Which is an example of how things have changed and are changing in the world and our culture, for the better I might add.

I do wonder what the world will be like if and when we reach a point where the government can completely relax all affirmative action barriers. When government can truly be color blind, and not have to enforce that on private businesses. It would be nice. Although to be realistic most of what happens today is really about class and economics, with race as a masking factor. I hope that you children will get to live in that world.

How 2 halves can make a greater whole

Dear James, Daniel, and Emily,

There are many types of people in this world, and Kim & I are different types: the planner and the organizer. I am a planner, I love to plan things, making very elaborate plans sometimes. However I am not great on the execution of said plans. Kim is an organizer, not a planner. When she sets her mind to organizing something she can be a whirlwind. When we do something together the best projects are always a combination of my planning it out, hashing out an idea of what we want to do, considering everything that is involved. Then she sets to organizing all of the elements and kicking the project into gear. Then we work together on the project with me usually taking orders from her.

This has actually worked quite well throughout our relationship. I tend to look at things in the big picture, with Kim being more spur of the moment and what has an effect right now. When this breaks down is when I try to implement my own plans on my own without her being involved or buying in. The inevitable result of that is partially completed projects because I usually hit the project in a disorganized fashion. Or when Kim dives into something without planning it out ahead of time, so we run out of the resources to complete the project, again: incomplete project.

Our kitchen has become a classic example of this. We actually planned out most of what we wanted to do. Then gradually bought up the supplies we would need. But then we ran into 2 problems: our planning called for 2 things we couldn't find or buy: a certain type of cabinet top and more importantly time. So the supplies remain in the house, with nothing going on until those 2 elements can come together. Of course we can buy the counter top at some point. But we cannot buy time.

Last night was another classic example. Over the weekend Kim had an idea of using a shelf we had in the shed in the boys room as part of a plan to organize their room a little better. So on Sunday she dug it out and cleaned it off. Last night she decided what color she wanted to paint it. And rather than take some time and figure out how much we needed we just went up to the local Ace and picked 1 can of spray paint, thinking that would do the job, it didn't. So now Kim will have to go to the store today to pick up some more paint, a classic example of her diving into a project without some planning. The problem is that sometimes when the planning is left up to me we end up in paralysis by analysis as I over plan and we can never get anything done.

So the essence of the difference between the two is this: the planner gets an idea, plans it, start the project but bogs down in the middle due to not being able to keep organized and focused. The Organizer looks at something, and has no idea where to start, but dives in anyway, resulting in a haphazard approach. But when the 2 get together they can do wonderful things, like you kids.

Another test post

Dear James, Daniel and Emily

Here is the beginning of my post. And here is the rest of it.

Financial Literacy

Dear James, Daniel and Emily

I sincerely hope that you all will be able to answer the questions here. I think a knowledge of financial matters is very important. Growing up my parents were very forthcoming on financial matters, and while that didn't stop me from spending foolishly at times it kept me from making any monster errors in judgement. It is very important to maintain a sense of financial perspective. James I know you are already on a good start, you understand the concept of money, you know you have to work for it generally, and you understand the concept of saving.

Some of the comments that people made on this article were good as well, the best one, that repeated the most, was that much of this is an understanding of basic math. And I think you all will get that understanding, because while I am no math genius (I have the grade reports to back that up), I am pretty good at the basic math that is involved here. And your Mom is even better at this type of thing than I am. And of course we can always fall back on Grandma Lolly or Uncle Dave if the math gets too hairy.

But the key concepts that this article focuses on do not require a sophisticated knowledge of advanced math. The basic concepts of Supply and Demand and Market forces do not require math knowledge. And a knowledge of market forces and Supply and Demand will make your life much simpler. This year, when the price of gas went through the roof, the general public (and even I for a time) felt that it was a matter of the large oil companies screwing the buying public and many major political figures bought into that as well. But after some thinking, and reading I realized that all that was really happening was that the price of gasoline in the United States finally caught up to the rest of the world. And this was just a matter of a market correction and supply & demand.

So many of the big political discussions come down to financial questions, and a knowledge of these economic forces and basic finance will allow you to see through and understand what the politicians are really asking you for. So a sound knowledge of finance and economics is good for your personal finances and also good for you to fill your spot in the body politic.

Stylistic Changes

Dear James, Daniel and Emily

So I was thinking about changing the style of this blog, I have been reading the biography of Charles Schulz and was struck about how horrible it was to have his mother die at an early age and at such a crucial time in his life. As the biographer points out Charles was a real 'Mama's boy' and also suffered from a real disconnect with his parents. He really had nothing in common with them, and he didn't really know them, who they were, why they did what they did or didn't do. And I was thinking how this was very different from my own experience.

This disconnect was partly due to a cultural change, parents back then were very much apart from their children, not the way they are expected to be now. The famous song Cat's in the Cradle really shows that difference, while it tries to make a point to people to be a part of their children's lives, in a way that signalled how much our culture had changed. My mother, grandmother Lolly, likes to point out how her own parents were not involved in her life the same way parents are now or even how much she was involved in mine.

But in a lot of ways I was blessed by spectacularly open parents. And not just open and honest, but also willing to tell us why they were doing things. At least as far as they understood them. While I try to be open with you kids and hope to continue to be, I thought a good way to accomplish this would be this blog. Up till now this blog has been mostly a journal type of style, with some moderate attempts at scholarly entries and thought. One of my biggest struggles is with consistency and how to reconcile the scattershot focus of entries. Just today I began with an entry about Tammy's marriage and what it meant, and followed that up with an entry commenting on family dinners. And the next entry might be focused on the presidential election. It has to be a little confusing, heck it confuses me sometimes.

But on my lunch time walk I thought of a stylistic method that would allow me to excuse my widely varied focus, and bring things together. My plan, moving forward, is to write each post as if it were a letter to you kids. As a way of bringing together why these things might interest me, what they mean to me and to them. This will also excuse the family snippets as being somewhat historic for you. One of the cool aspects of doing this in a blog, is, unlike a handwritten or typed letter from the past, I can hyper link items. Which will give you a trail of sorts to all of the varying things I refer to in the letters.

These are the things to do to change the style:

1. Change the Title Header: from MikesWorld to Letters to my children
2. Remove some of the links
3. Create a template: 'Dear James, Daniel and Emily' to appear as default.

The importance of pattern

So I just read this article on the importance of family dinners. And it really made sense to me. As life gets ever more hectic with sports practices, works schedules etc. I think that our emphasis on eating at home for dinner is very important. Many of my memories of growing up came from the many family dinners. When I look back at my dad's house especially they really were a marvel when you consider we were juggling 5-7 kids, my parents, my grandmother, and on many occasions a family member or border who was staying with us and often friends. So we managed to get dinner made for anywhere from 10 to 12 people every night. And when I say we I mean we, all of the kids had an assigned night when they cooked or assisted in cooking, laying out the dishes and another kid or kids did the dishes. Granted my step mother did a lot of planning and assisting on the cooking, but the kids were still an instrumental part of the process.

All of which brings me to my point, those nights, and the consistency of a day to day schedule were important to everyone growing up. And Kim & I are doing our best to maintain that with our kids. We keep the kids on a pretty consistent schedule of eating and sleeping, even in the midst of summer. And if there is any really noticeable difference between them and their cousins it is that consistency.

And another effect this has is that it helps everyone out health wise. Because with 3 younger kids the ease of the drive thru is very very tempting. So taking the time to get the kids to the dinner table and eat a balanced meal helps them and us. and it also helps out the wallet. Eating out every meal is a ludicrous expense when you add kids.

So while the family dinner may not have all of the wonderful effects some people ascribe to it, it does have some excellent benefits for us. It helps establish routine, helps us maintain reasonable healthy eating habits, helps control the food budget. And that is well worth the effort it takes to create a menu and get the cooking done every night.

If it's not one thing...

It's another. So we had a good weekend, had an excellent game Friday night. Then the boys games went well Saturday morning. James had a good hit, and a couple of put outs at first base. Then nothing real exciting the rest of the day, we spent most of the time huddled in the nice cool basement. No the real excitement came first with a low key announcement on Friday, apparently Tammy had gone out at some point in the last couple of weeks and gotten married. I wouldn't even have known if she hadn't mentioned something to Kim & Connie on Friday. The thing that really got to me about it was the low key kind of mildly disgusted reaction of Kim & Connie. I would have thought that they would have reacted strongly, but at this point they are so tired of dealing with all of Tammy's crap, that nothing really surprises them any more. Really their strongest reaction was 'hurray, now someone else can deal with her'. The thing that really has everyone in the know really ticked off is that she hasn't told her kids yet, even though Jay is living with them. Which is definitely not good, and so incredibly selfish I was flabbergasted.

Well on top of that, Austin's birthday was last week, and as of Saturday Tammy still hadn't done anything yet. So I decided that we would host a party for him on Sunday at our house. Tammy did eventually show up after work, and was there for the cake and presents, but there were no thanks, no offers of help, nothing. And I think about what kind of party he would have had if we hadn't said and done something.

I guess at this point I shouldn't be surprised or disgusted, but every time I think she has reached a new low, she goes right out and tops it. I guess the only positive here is that school is coming and so soon we won't have to deal with her and the kids at all.

FYI, since she hasn't made any big announcements yet I am assuming she wants to continue to keep it quiet, but she and Jay are wearing matching wedding rings. And since my disgust is so high, I just don't care that much about how she feels about keeping it quiet. The truth will out as they say, so while I am not shouting from the roof tops, I will not hide this series of events either.

Friday Media Links

Just like most Fridays I will devote the column to articles that catch my eye.

1. A guilty pleasure I was just thinking this morning about how the other day when I was in a bad mood and an ABBA song came up on my iPod on the way to lunch and it really just made me perk up. They really are good songs, for all the horrid hype that surrounded them at their height. One of the hardest things to deal with in popular culture is to parse out what is good and what is not good. Another outstanding example of this is the major awards shows, especially the Academy Awards, the Academy Awards are really guilty of picking out the most popular movie of the year rather than selecting the truly good movies that can and will stand the test of time.

2. An interesting little idea from Freakonomics I think this is going in the right direction. Having lived the majority of my life in a state where water is an issue I think that like the era of cheap gas, this cannot go on forever. Granted water is not as finite a resource as fossil fuels, but it is still finite. Especially in areas like the American west that have been made fertile through science and ingenuity but cannot remain so forever. Or at least not at the current and expanding levels of agriculture etc. We cannot sustain our level of water usage. Perhaps increasing the prices would help the invisible hand in forcing people to make adjustments, like it is doing for gas usage.

3. This is just too funny An excellent and humorous take off/ addition to Isaac Asimov's rules of robotics.

4. The real story of door to door magazine sales. A little expose-ish but very interesting none the less. Makes me really glad I never caled one of those places and took up the job. I know some people who did similar stuff, and I know that the job of traveling salesman was at one time a worth while and honorable profession. But any more it seems like sotries like this are more common. And this just seems like it is not really all that much fun, and sure am glad I nver answered one of those ads (although I seriously doubt my parents would have signed off on my traveling with that type of group).

The wonderful effects of stress

8 years ago I worked as a Supervisor in the Adelphia call center here in town. That was a very stressful, thankless job. Often I found myself being torn in multiple directions while feeling that some of my colleagues were not doing their job (not an unusual feeling for most people in most jobs I grant). Well one day after a really hard day I left work and found that my little clicker on my key chain for disabling the car alarm wasn't working. But I wanted to leave, so I opened the car door manually and the damn car alarm would not turn off! Well I just lost it. I started kicking the car, eventually breaking a hub cap. That day was a signal to me that I needed to get out of that job.

Well this week I have come to the same realization regarding having my in laws watching our kids. Every day it has been something new, and every morning something new for Kim trying to track Tammy down and make sure she is ready to take the kids. And so instead of coming home and relax and maybe enjoy some time with the kids it is come home and deal with shrieking children, wondering what new disaster has befallen them, what new pile of trash or destroyed toy I can find.

I have had my parents very graciously offer assistance with this, and they do what they can, but that shouldn't be necessary. Kim just sighs and says that's Tammy she won't change. And Connie won't stand up to her and really crack down.

So today Kim and I will have to sit down and ponder options. From making some drastic budget cuts somewhere, to dramatic schedule changes. What is a shame is that this shouldn't be necessary. And Kim & I were just getting used to being able to spending our evenings together. Oh well, I will post any updates.

This is a test

Here is the beginning of my post. And here is the rest of it.

Moves and visits

So Last night we hosted an impromptu family barbecue for Dan's family last night in the Springs before they return home to Flagstaff. It was originally going to be hosted by my sister Nancy but she was unable to, so we hosted as the most convenient location. Which was good for us as we were able to get the boys back in a normal bath, teeth, bed, books routine since they went back to Y Camp today.

The best part is that meant I was able to get another night visiting with Dan, Brenda and CC, which was great. I know why they live where they live, but there are times when I wish they lived here in town. And it was so great to get to spend time with CC and get to know her a little better. I think she and Daniel really had a good time together. And James was an excellent little host, showing her his toys and trampoline and taking care not to overwhelm her.

One of the topics that came up was the fact that my Dad, Mom and Dave are all planning to move in the near future. Dad's move will be the easiest, they are moving into the house they own next door to where they live now, which they have been renting out until now. There are a number of reasons for the move, but at least it is a short move and really won't have any effect on us.

Dave & Tia are moving to Denver, which is a big move. They have said for quite a while that once Alex graduated they would make this move. It just so happened that Tia's company just got a big contract which she can really handle much better from Denver so with Alex graduating anyway the timing worked out perfectly. So while it has been nice to have Dave live so close, I honestly haven't spent that much time with him so when they move to Denver it won't change things that much. I probably won't see him quite as much, although I imagine he will still come down for the big events like birthdays etc. Denver really isn't that far away. Plus that gives us another excuse to go up there from time to time.

The big deal is that Mom had always 'threatened' that when Dave & Tia moved to Denver she would join them. And now that that is coming true she will be forced to 'fish or cut bait' on that decision. Although she can afford to not be in a rush on the move. She has some very good reasons for moving. And while I don't want her to move (and have made that clear to her), I will understand when she does so. And at least for her, if she does move, when she goes to sell her house she has the best chance of getting back good value even in the current market because of her location and the improvements she has made.

So a year from now there is the very real possibility that we will have gone from having 3 'sets' of grandparents in town and 5 sets of Aunts & Uncles to 4 for the kids. And we will have gone from only 1 relative living in Denver to 3. Which will probably mean more scheduled visits to Denver to visit.

Of course on the opposite direction one of my nieces has just moved back to town from Virginia along with her 2 kids, so the real effect of this is that semi-impromptu family gatherings like the one we had Friday night will get younger.

Running a Fantasy Football League

I know not all ( or pretty much any) of my regular readers do the fantasy sports thing, but I thought it might be interesting to detail what I go through this year as the commissioner and team owner of a fantasy football league. So yes this series of posts will be all about sports, so you can skip it if you are uninterested.

So I have been a member of the same Fantasy football league for 6 years now, and took over commissioner duties 2 years ago. As commissioner I have 3 primary duties: recruit team owners, Set up the rules and web site, Run the league draft. I also am occasionally (but very rarely) called on to adjudicate trades. The majority of the league members work for my company or have worked here in the past. And whenever an opening comes up I have to search here in the support desk for new members. Which is usually not too stressful, I usually only have to fill 1 or 2 slots. Since I run a free league, it generally isn't too hard to recruit, because all people have to give up is time.

The first 2 years I had the league site hosted by 1 company (EA Sports), but while it was a pretty good web site during the season, it has always been a pain for people to get set up on the site. So this year I am moving the league to another site which is more tested & true. I plan on doing that part this week, although I will probably write another post where I describe in detail the actual process of setting up the scoring method because I think that is the part of fantasy football that people have the hardest time grasping.

I plan to host the draft at my house, which is usually a fun process of people getting together, talking football and full of boasting and trash talking. I sent out an e-mail today asking for people to give me their availability days and dates, then I get to try and set a date as early as possible.

Now I know that there are some who may mention that I say every year that I am through with fantasy football, yet every year I come back. Well there are 2 factors this year: first, I won this league last year so I have that pressure off my back. Second, I picked the web site for hosting based on the idea that I would not get live scoring updates, therefore I wouldn't know scores until Monday morning, which makes it easier emotionally because I can't sit in front of the computer watching the scores change.

Weekend Recap

So the trip to Estes Park is done for this year. And the surprise early birthday event was a success, Mom was totally floored. Which made all the various headaches of getting there and coping with tiredness from Emily's grouchiness worth it.

Here's how it all broke down. Saturday was fine, very relaxed day, James had it a little rough, his baseball game was frustrating becuase while he played at 1st base none of the kids threw him the ball, then no parents provided a snack then when we got lunch there was no toy in his kids meal. But otherwise it was a relaxed day, I got things basically ready to go. And we had everything more or less ready when Emily woke up in the night screaming. And pretty much screamed all night, we can only assume it was a dreadful combindation of teething, a cold and an ear infection, so Kim & I received very little rest.

Fortunately she did get some rest onthe drive to Estes Park so she was in a decent mood once we got there, although she had her bad moments. But a little more rest, lots of TLC and some tylenol, and she was basically in a decent mood Sunday evening and back to her normal self on Monday.

So the reason we did this trip was this year Mom turns 70, and her siblings all could come to Estes Park with their families but not make it to Colorado SPrings in August for her actual birthday. See the Rogers family has had yearly reunions in Estes Park for 30+ years now every summer so it was a good excuse to arrange the trip. We had nearly the whole group, save 1 cousin and her family. But all told we had 40 people there. I took a lot of pictures and should get them uploaded to the web tonight.

It was a good time, James & Daniel especially had a great time, just running around cosntantly playing with all o these other little kids. James really did not want to leave, he wanted to stay and play some more. I enjoyed some visting time with some cosuins I never see any more, seeing their kids, and generally chatting a lot and taking lots of pictures. I am looking forard to reviewing them and then seeing the ones taken by the other folks when they get them uploaded on Facebook. Should be fun.

Friday Media Links

1. Billy Jack defends Wesley Clark. He has some very good points, although he rambles more than a little bit. But he nails the point I think, that while what McCain did was heroic, and self sacrificing etc. in service to our country, just being heroic does not qualify you to be President. And he also nails the point on how the current Neo-Con/Republican/Fox News modus operandi is attack the messenger, ignore the message and hope it sweeps under the carpet.

2. This looks like a very interesting book. And his premise is very intriguing that our current mode of attack, divide and conquer style politics stems from Nixon. I still think that while the Robert Kennedy assassination in 1968 was big, the attempt on George Wallace was even bigger. Because Wallace was busy splintering off Nixon's base, and doing it as a Democrat, and a possible third party candidate. Either way the elections of 1968 and 1972 really signalled the beginning of a Republican strategy based on the so-called Silent Majority and almost know nothingism centered on winning the 'flyover states' and chipping away at the coasts. And Wallace being knocked out allowed that to succeed, Wallace was the last chance the Democrats had at holding onto a chunk of their traditional constituency based on issues of religion, morality and crime. Of course he was the last major Presidential candidate with a base in racist thinking, so I am certainly not here to defend Wallace.

3. Starbury will live on. I think this is excellent news. I think the idea behind the Starbury line was and still is an excellent one. And I am glad to see that they will not die with the departure of Steve & Barry's.

4. This is what I talk about when referring to Helicopter parents. Geez, I can hardly imagine feeling that caught up, to the point that I would demand my children write home immediately. So of course we are in danger of creating a bunch of over sensitive anxious children utterly unprepared for adult life. Now I never went to camp, although both of my older brothers did, and I doubt we will ever send the kids to that kind of camp, but more out of a sense of affordability than anything else. But I would like to think that if we could, that when that time came we wouldn't freak out about being out of touch. Kim & I do try hard to foster some sense of independence in the kids, of course part of that is a survival strategy with 3 kids...

Respect

Respect

¹re·spect

Pronunciation:

ri-ˈspekt

Function:

noun

1: a relation or reference to a particular thing or situation <remarks having respect to an earlier plan>

2: an act of giving particular attention : consideration

3 a: high or special regard : esteem b: the quality or state of being esteemed

So today I want to talk about respect, respect has become something of a cliche in our culture, its meaning degenerates a little. But respect is very important, it is a crucial part of maintaining the social contract. And it is one of the fundamental things that parents must teach their children. Because when someone lacks respect, for other people, other people's property, themselves, that is when things begin to break down and many problems occur. I like to think that I learned respect at an early age, and that is one of the things I continually hammer into my kids (not literally of course, that would be wrong).

In modern popular culture respect has become a cliche and a buzzword, and as a result it has lost some of its meaning and a lot of its impact. You have pop culture phrases like South Park's "You will respect my authority" which is cute the first time you hear it but the more it is repeated the more annoying it is because it degrades the impact of the word. You can't force someone to respect you, that's not respect, that's fear. Or little things, like when my sister in law talks about dealing with bikers in her bar and telling them to 'respect the colors' in order to keep the peace. And the worst is the way that certain parts of our culture have taken the word as something they deserve rather than something they earn. So you have anyone who disagrees, or questions their position, is 'disrespecting' that person, which often leads to arguments, violence etc.

Respect then becomes tricky. People in authority must earn respect: teachers, police officers, bosses, etc. But as a parent I want to teach my children to be respectful, to strangers, to authority figures, to adults in general. So really the difference comes from the second and third meanings of the word (see above). As a parent I want my children to follow the second meaning regarding other people and things they encounter: behave properly, don't take things without asking, don't break other kids toys, don't make a mess of other people's houses, basically give particular attention or consideration of those things and people they don't know or things that don't belong to them.

The third meaning of the word is what people earn. A student learns to respect their teacher(s), workers learn to respect their boss, civilians learn to respect police officers. But anyone in that position of authority (and this very much applies to parents) has to realize that, and pay attention to their own behavior in order to gain and retain that respect. As a society we are taught to respect the badge of the police officer, but the actions of one officer can take that down a notch. As a parent, all it takes is failing to come through on 1 promise, or being inconsistent in enforcing rules, or displaying your own lack of respect, and your child's respect starts to inch down.

And what people fail to realize as parents is that the littlest things can display that lack of respect, and teach it as a value. I like to use the Broken Window theory as justification for maintaining the house and lawn. The theory is that if you see a broken window in a building, that means people don't care and therefore it's okay to break the other windows (a gross oversimplification of course). Well how it applies to the house and teaching children respect is this. If I as a parent keep my house cleaned up, picked up, with the dishes cleaned in the kitchen etc. I am showing my children that I care about these things and they will learn to care about them as well, or at least realize that doing that is a sign of respect. Well the opposite is very true as well: if the house is always a mess, if the kitchen is stacked high with dirty dishes, kids will develop an attitude that since their parent doesn't care enough to respect their surroundings then why should they? And eventually this overlaps into other areas of their lives. Letting that dish go uncleaned, or the dirty laundry sitting in the middle of the living room is to kids what that building of broken windows is to criminals: an indication that someone doesn't care, and an invitation to wreak havoc.

So far following this strategy has worked for the kids. Part of it is copied behavior, part of it is learning. It doesn't have as big of an impact on the younger kids (like my 3 year old) but it does start to gradually work its way into their consciousness. And I can tell that James is starting to get it. He is generally very respectful when he goes to other people's houses, even when his parents are not around. I don't expect him to become a clean freak, neither Kim nor I are clean freaks (although she is better than I am). But he is learning that if he wants to keep his nice toys etc. he has to take care of them.

Happy Birthday Justin!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JUSTIN!!!

My little brother

From Mike, Kim, James, Daniel, Emily

Steve & Barry's to File for Chapter 11

Steve
& Barry's to File for Chapter 11 - WSJ.com

Well damn, that is unfortunate, I sure am glad now that we made it over there on Sunday to pick up some pants when we had the chance. I am good on the shoes, I have 2 pairs of Starbury's. It was the pants that I was most concerned about.
The big sub plot for this now is if another retailer picks up the Starbury's line.

It also has been in last-minute discussions with Sears Holdings Corp., about a
bailout or partial sale, say people familiar with the matter.

That might signal the saving of the brand, who knows. They are good shoes, and the idea of selling good shoes for a reasonable price is not only good marketing but socially responsible. I understand the market can somehow handle $300 Air Jordan's but in my opinion that is irresponsible when the shoes are such a status symbl that people get robbed or even shot over them.

On another Sports related point, here is an intriguing article which does a good job of pointing out how factors such as race, and how professional leagues are treated differently. I have always felt that the media has an odd reverence to how it treats baseball. Which was starting to fall with the whole steroids issue, but I guess that isn't really the case. The NBA, in part because it's players are the most visible has always caught the short end of the stick when it comes to public condemnation etc. And baseball seems to get the best treatment of the major Big 3 sports. I guess there is something to say for tradition.

The Nostalgia Trap versus the Re-Mix

So here's the problem I face as a parent:

1. I have some terribly fond memories of my childhood, it was pretty idyllic. Although I was a child of divorce my parents still got along and my new step siblings treated me well. So it was mostly a matter of getting cool new family members, and a different house I could play at. And because of that, I want to somehow make sure my children get the best of that, so I often fall into the nostalgia trap of trying to recreate how my parents raised me.

2. The problem, as I discussed last week, is that no one's childhood experience is going to be the same as someone else's. No matter how hard I try, it won't be the same, the world around us is different, Kim is very different from my Mom, etc. So even if I try to recreate for the kids what I grew up with, at best it would only be a re-mix of what I had, with lots of different samples tossed in. So the reality is I need to let go at times and let the kids craft their own childhood.

3. On top of this is the Helicopter Parent v. Free Range quandary. I would like my kids to be as free range as I was, but the world is different: I don't live in a quiet Broadmoor neighborhood like my parents did. There are more dangers outside as far as traffic concerns etc. And there are far more internal attractions than I ever had: PlayStation, computer, Cartoon Network. So there just aren't as many reasons to venture into the 'dangerous' outside world as I had.

4. And there is real serious pressure to schedule fun for the children, in part because this scheduled fun is all part of the vast extracurricular industrial complex, which has a huge hold on our psyches with the message: your child is special, but not special enough, in order to compete and stand out, they must learn a new language, play 5 sports, draw like Michelangelo and work in soup kitchens helping the homeless. And I am not too proud to admit that yesterday I realized I had fallen prey to that message. There I was last week, planning how James could juggle a sport, martial arts and piano lessons into the same week as school. Fortunately Kim reigned me in. And I decided that for now, James will be limited to 1 extra curricular activity. Either a sport or piano lessons, and then only once school starts. Once baseball ends James gets a break until September from any extra activities. Daniel gets to follow James, that is he does what James does for now, until he gets old enough to make his own mind up (although he will probably want to do whatever his big brother does for quite a while).

UPDATE: Forgot to note this yesterday, James does not have Strep, he just has a cold. Which is good news, athough Emily may have the same cold as well, which is no fun, and hard to tell when they are teething as the symptoms are quite similar.

Media links for Monday

Very interesting article on the impact Nostalgia is having on our culture. And this is very true for me. Although what is interesting is that my dad was not the type who could show me how to fix a car or build a go kart etc. And yet I still want something akin to that for my kids. One of the points that it makes about how people get this idea that their Dad's were always around, when today's generation is actually far more involved than their parents were in their lives is valid. Today's media is geared to make parents feel bad for not being around, doing stuff with our kids. Included in that is the advertising etc. on kids shows. Which makes the kids think that their parents should be the sole focus of their time. Which has the unfortunate side effect of making the parents feel guilty all the time. Kim is a classic example of this, the reality is she probably gives the kids more time and attention than either of us got from our parents, and yet she always seems to feel like she should be doing more, 'working with the kids'. The reality is that James picked up things like potty training and speech much quicker than Daniel, and yet James in Day Care while Daniel was at home with Mommy. So I don't really buy it. Yes as a parent I have a certain responsibility to my kids. But I don't think it is a requirement that we should be doing 'something' with them every spare minute or every weekend. This weekend I had a chance to have a friend who teaches martial arts talk to James to gauge if he is ready, but Kim pointed out that he really is overloaded right now and that taking on martial arts might be too much, and I agreed. So the upshot is childhood is special, especially for the younger kids, let them enjoy that time, but don't try to force enjoyment by scheduling 'fun things' every single minute. I was home with the kids on Friday and Saturday while Kim was at work, we didn't do anything special, and I think they had more fun those 2 days than the days when we are running around to baseball, then the library then parties etc. So if there is any one thing the nostalgia craze that brings us books like the Dangerous Book really teaches us parents is that kids really can and do fun things when they have the time, and it doesn't all have to be scheduled fun 'play date' time.

An unapologetic bashing of Jesse Helms obituary. Jesse was one of those Republicans who almost made me embarrassed to be a Republican in the 80's. And I have no qualms with linking to this obituary as a fitting obit for him. He really was a national disgrace, to have someone as obnoxiously ignorant as him in such a position of power as he was for so long was really ridiculous. The thing that separated him from George Wallace or even Strom Thurmond at some point was that he never ever admitted he was wrong on segregation, and that he never really did anything for the 'poor folk'. Wallace and Strom actually did live up to their 'champion of the little man' title to some extent. While Jesse was a classic race baiting politician of the old post reconstruction south. Reading his biographies is like so many of the other stories I read about the old southern politicians from the one party Democratic South.

Weekend Thoughts

Well we had a good 3 day weekend, no huge trauma's or bad things. The events all turned out well, had a good time at them. I had a chance to relax and unwind, play some computer games and basically not think about work or any other major stressors.

Spam-Rama was excellent, not as big a turnout as we normally have, but it was fun none the less. The boys had a good time, and even stood out front and watched the fireworks. The food was actually all pretty good, what I had. I have learned that unless I am a judge there is no reason to sample everything made. And honestly eating that much Spam can cause some real problems as far as heartburn, stomach upset etc. But what I did eat was excellent, and while I only got an honorable mention for best overall, the winner definitely deserved it, the food was excellent.

Here are a couple of good shots from Spam O Rama.

Some good conversation

The judges announce their decisions

James playing with a sparkler.

(There are more pictures on my Picasa site, follow the link on the right for Family pictures, click on the folder titled Spam O Rama 2008)

So, while I was disappointed in the turnout from our party, we definitely had a good time. We played lots of Ladder ball, I got to show off my new Grill. The food was very tasty, not char-coaled like last summer when I was using my old grill with no temperature control. Everyone who did show up had fun. I just wish a few more people who were invited had shown, particularly those who said they would come and didn't (exlcuding Angela who did have the courtesy to call and say she wasn't going to make it). One of my ulterior motives for the party was to show Kim that she has lots of social options beyond the family, and that didn't go so well. But we did have fun, and everyone who failed to show missed out on a great time.

James throwing a popper at my foot.

My niece, Liz, and mother in law Connie, playing Ladder ball

(There are more pictures on my Picasa site, follow the link on the right for Family pictures, click on the folder titled Summer BBQ 2008)

On a side note James woke up this morning with some sniffles, coughing etc. and complained that his throat was sore, huh oh! For those you not familiar with this, James is highly susceptible to strep throat. He rarely get sick, but any time he complains his throat is sore we pretty much have to get him to the Dr. that day, because Strep hits him like an avalanche. 2 summers ago when he got it he ended up spending a night in the hospital for observation because his glands were so swollen. I will post news when we get it.

End of week Random thoughts

End of week Random thoughts

• Happy 4th of July everyone, we will be celebrating with the annual Spam O Rama, a celebration of all things SPAM. Then probably not going to any big fireworks shows, because the kids are still not real comfortable with loud noises.
• I will be hosting a belated barbecue on Saturday. This is a chance for people who would normally come to our house on a the 4th but can't because of prior obligations (like my own with Spam O Rama). It should be an interesting dynamic because it will be the first such event without a huge amount of family members in quite a while.
• Excellent article on Patriotism and electoral politics An interesting little study. While I have been known to get pretty jingoistic in my time I certainly don't subscribe to an "America Love it or Leave it" attitude. And the comments about how Obama's campaign is handling the issue are right up my alley. I think that the true measure of a patriot is the ability to see the flaws in your country, still love it, and do what you can do heal those flaws. And Obama's campaign really reflects that view: ours is a great country, only in America could you have a story like Obama, and the best thing we can do for our country is find a way to serve it. Being a patriot does not require wearing a flag pin, reciting the Pledge, and hating all of those who say bad things about our country. It's kind of like being a parent. If you never said anything bad about your child, never criticized them, never pointed out that they were doing something wrong, and then carried around a picture of them everywhere you went, would that be considered being a good parent? Or would being supportive, but teaching, helping your child overcome mistakes and showing them what they did wrong so they can learn?
• Useful tools: I use the free tools from Google pretty regularly. I keep an online calendar on Google Calendar. I post pictures on Picasa. I write my documents on Google Docs. My Blog is hosted by Google Blogspot. And I bring it all together with iGoogle. This is the best tool of all. In 1 page I have my Gmail Inbox, My calendar, A link to my pictures and a link to my documents, and best of all Google Reader. Google Reader is a great tool that allows you to subscribe to RSS feeds and then have recent articles pop up when they are created. So when my favorite blogs get a new post, or news from selected web sites they appear there. So if you are on line and want an easier way to manage things like e-mail, online calendars etc. and a 1 stop location to speed up the process of knowing when important news and/or updates on your favorite blogs (like mine!), iGoogle combined with free resources like Google Reader is the way to go.
• Since I will not be chained to a computer the next couple of days I probably won't post anything until Sunday when I have pictures from Spam-O-Rama and the barbecue.

Steve & Barry's may be doomed

Steve & Barry's may be doomed - TheDeal.com

This is too bad, I really liked the store, not just because of the prices (although that is a big reason). I really liked the general concept and idea of selling major branded clothing for reasonable prices. Especially the Starbury line. Which I really approve of. In a lot of ways they kind of reminded me of Banana Republic when it first started out, which was focused on some good clothes in unique styles. Instead of the generic cookie cutter clothing you can buy there now.

I guess I will have to take some time this weekend to get over there and snatch up some clothes while I can.

Obama support and campaign

So I sent out an e-mail via the Obama web site announcing my support. And one of the e-mails I got back was from a long time friend, who like me was somewhere to the right of Attila the Hun when it came to our politics in High School and college. Like me he is supporting Obama this year, although I think his support has as much to do with how his politics have changed after 4 years at Oberlin College then living for 10+ years in Massachusetts. But this has led me to think why I have changed and why Obama has sparked such enthusiasm.

And I think one of the biggest reasons is the type of campaign, in a lot of ways I have waited for a campaign like this. As close to a real grass roots, populist movement as we can get. And I think that the way the Obama campaign has really embraced the power and utility of the Internet is an example of that.

In reading further into The Pirate Dilemma he has mentioned how popular trends have become so quick, so flash in the pan because of the utility of the Internet, and that only enhances how powerful it is for getting messages like Obama's out there. And this is something I think the Media is only now starting to grasp.

Learning, we are all 're-mixes'

So I have been reading a fascinating book, The Pirate's Dilemma, which has an interesting hypothesis that Pirate's are really an essential part of a free society, and that they serve to keep the cycle of innovation and essence of freedom going. He presents a very persuasive argument for this. But that is not what hit me about the book. In one chapter he focuses on music, specifically the rise of the re-mix, the idea of hip hop artists taking snippets of, in some cases thousands, of songs, mixing them up and mashing them together into a new song.

And that got me thinking, particularly in conjunction with a phrase from The Gonzo Way (which you see I have added as my blog's new tag line): "I have been plagiarizing my whole life, it's called learning". I think, in a lot of ways, particularly in the Information Age we all live in, that we are all 're-mixes' or mash-ups'. Just from a genetic stand point a human is a product of 2 people, it takes 2 to tango etc. So biologically we are a combination of 2 different genetic sequences. Well then you add in the effects of parenting and upbringing. I am very much the product of 2 very different people in a lot of ways. Then there are the effects of siblings, (if there are siblings) and extended family if they are around much. And last you have the culture and technology. All of these factors combine to create the (semi-) finished product that is an adult.

So, using myself as an example, I had 2 different people as parents. Then 2 older natural brothers, and then 4 older step siblings, 1 step mother, 2 step fathers, and a grandmother combined for the influence of extended family. Then you have the effects of different schools, different friends, and the effects of mass media, books etc. Which accounts in total for my own unique perspective on things.

Well with the advent of the Web 2.0 age and computing, that really accelerates the effect. Because how I learn about something can be totally different from someone else because we first saw the story on 2 different web sites with different twists on the news. And the need for an ever wider pool of knowledge is needed in order to function. My grandmother used to swear by the concept that the sign of true intelligence is the ability to hold 2 conflicting ideas about an issue at the same time. Well any more that's almost a requirement. With the wealth of information on any subject that is available people just can't learn one side of an issue and stop. I am not talking about a depth of information so much as a general idea. The era of specialization is rapidly coming to an end. It just is not economically or socially feasible to specialize in one narrow job or group of people any more.

Another interesting side effect of the idea of the re-mix or mash up is the effect it has on celebrity. Celebrities are no longer just actors or just musicians or athletes, instead they try to see how many 'hats' they can wear. Successful athletic coaches become authors or spokespeople or promotional speakers. And while the conventional wisdom has been that the Jack of all trades is master of none, that is becoming less and less true. With the wealth of resources available to people now it is much easier to learn about trades and skills that previously people could only acquire thru specialized training. I am not saying the average person will be able to perform surgery or average a 3 minute mile, there are still some areas where specialization is required. But that list is shrinking.

All of which only increases the need and appreciation for people to not turn off their ability and willingness to learn when school ends. Formal education may end in High school or college but learning should not. One of the things that frustrates me sometimes with my extended family is people who have decided that the job they have or career means they can't or won't ever learn anything else and so they turn off their brains to some extent. If there is any one thing I learned from my upbringing is that learning and education never stop, and increasingly in our world, that is crucial to general success.

This all helps me clear up in my mind how James can be at the same time so much like me and also so different. And the same will go for Daniel and Emily. They are living in a different world, with different friends and family surrounding them. And with vastly different technology available to them. So while my approach to child rearing may be similar to my parents it by no means means that they will end up the same as me. About the only thing that I can look at with James and say that is me is his rather scattershot interests and quest for knowledge, and that is a good thing.