Dear James, Daniel and Emily,
This week I ran, for the first time in weeks I managed 2 days of morning running. I was finally able to get out and get that pair of Hoka's I wanted/needed for my toes. And it felt real good to get out there. Neither run was special in terms of speed or distance, but it was running, and that is good for now.
I am taking my time, pacing myself on distances, letting the build up occur gradually and naturally. Adhering to the plan, with a goal of returning to 10K distances by the end of the year. I figure that will be about my max distance from here on out, barring something miraculous occurring for my feet.
And I am in a real good head space as far as keeping the healthier eating habits compartmented from the running. Not going to let myself obsess about calorie counts or burns. For now it is enough to avoid the over eating and get back to regular exercise, and let the weight take care of itself.
Thursday, August 21, 2014
Tuesday, August 12, 2014
Recognizing and accepting how powerful the mind is
Dear James, Daniel and Emily
This has been a crossroads summer for me regarding fitness. In June I finally recognized and admitted I needed help. First, the pain in my feet got properly diagnosed, and after some enforced time off the stress fracture has healed properly. And I know about my arthritic toes and what I need to do to cope with and minimize that pain. Second, I was diagnosed with Depression and got the help I needed. That is a continuing issue, with a fair amount of therapy still on the horizon.
But, regarding fitness the thing I have begun to recognize is how powerful the grip of depression was. Because as the anti-depressants and therapy have kicked in I have begun to see just how much of my eating was driven by Depression. Because in recent weeks it has become so much easier to just push away from the table after a meal, my body knows when it is full, and with the mind no longer driving me to eat in search of comfort I have already noticed a difference.
So I am recognizing how powerful the mind is, and what it was doing to me. And as I keep getting better, and begin to return to running I hope that a different cycle will begin. The most important thing is to get this started before I begin the running routine again, so I am not reliant on the running. I am certain that on some level the injuries affected me, and knowing what they are and recovering from those that are not permanent helps. But it is more important that I develop the skills to keep the weight off without the running, so that the running becomes an end of itself, separate from the overall fitness.
That being said, I do plan to begin light, limited running next week (hopefully with new shoes.) I plan to keep my mileage and time in check while my body works itself into shape again. I recognize that I might never get to that marathon distance, and possibly not even the Half. But if I can at least return to the level of running the Long series and running regularly again I will be happy (and that is something I really look forward to.)
This has been a crossroads summer for me regarding fitness. In June I finally recognized and admitted I needed help. First, the pain in my feet got properly diagnosed, and after some enforced time off the stress fracture has healed properly. And I know about my arthritic toes and what I need to do to cope with and minimize that pain. Second, I was diagnosed with Depression and got the help I needed. That is a continuing issue, with a fair amount of therapy still on the horizon.
But, regarding fitness the thing I have begun to recognize is how powerful the grip of depression was. Because as the anti-depressants and therapy have kicked in I have begun to see just how much of my eating was driven by Depression. Because in recent weeks it has become so much easier to just push away from the table after a meal, my body knows when it is full, and with the mind no longer driving me to eat in search of comfort I have already noticed a difference.
So I am recognizing how powerful the mind is, and what it was doing to me. And as I keep getting better, and begin to return to running I hope that a different cycle will begin. The most important thing is to get this started before I begin the running routine again, so I am not reliant on the running. I am certain that on some level the injuries affected me, and knowing what they are and recovering from those that are not permanent helps. But it is more important that I develop the skills to keep the weight off without the running, so that the running becomes an end of itself, separate from the overall fitness.
That being said, I do plan to begin light, limited running next week (hopefully with new shoes.) I plan to keep my mileage and time in check while my body works itself into shape again. I recognize that I might never get to that marathon distance, and possibly not even the Half. But if I can at least return to the level of running the Long series and running regularly again I will be happy (and that is something I really look forward to.)
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