A triumph of will

Dear James, Daniel and Emily,

Wednesdays Run

So far so good this week. I managed to get up Tuesday and rid the bike. I even pushed myself to a 40 minute ride, with the first 20 on a program that had some real resistance intermittently. Yeah my legs felt like rubber afterwards. And I was a little sore the rest of the day. But I wasn't going to let that stop me Wednesday morning.

When I got up it was cold, like 9 degrees. But I made myself get dressed and get out there. I promised myself that if I got too uncomfortable I would cut it short and head home. I knew that the workout plan called for a long interval (20 minutes) at race speed (9:30 to 10:30 minute miles roughly.) And I wasn't sure how my legs would hold up after that bike workout.

One of the advantages of listening to the same play list when I run is that I can kind of gauge how fast I am going, because I know that if I am going at my regular pace I know where I would be on my route. Well the funny thing is yesterday is I started noticing that I was ahead of that pace. I did my best to keep that pace, letting the mile marks go past. 

Next thing I knew I had made the 3 mile mark at just over 30 minutes! I finished the run out, walked home and felt physically great the rest of the day! I had remarked on Tuesday that I didn't feel up to the 10 minute mile pace, well it turns out I can make that pace, I just need to decide that run that fast. It really was just a matter of willpower and mentally deciding that that day I was going to meet my goal pace. 

Which makes me feel better overall, I will still keep focusing on 1 day, 1 work out at a time. But, I now know that when I want to I can bust out that big effort run.

Focus is on rebuilding now, after acceptance

Dear James, Daniel and Emily

Saturday Run

Sunday Run

All of that inconsistent running and breaks has taken a toll. I hadn't really realized or accepted how big of a toll until this weekend when I did back to back days for the first time in a while. I was hurting on that Sunday run, glad that it was short. 

So now I have to accept that I am not anywhere close to where I want to be in terms of conditioning. But, I cannot change what happened, no excuses, it just happened. Life, bad weather, poor mental state, it all added up to just not running enough. Whatever the reasons there is only one thing to do.

Time to rebuild! I am taking my time to focus on meeting the scheduled workouts and stick as close as I can to the workout. And take my rest days seriously. But most importantly: run! Not run so much that I hurt myself, but get running to the point where things come back. 

I know at this point I can run a 5K with consistently under 11 minute miles, but I can't say the same for being under 10 or 9 minute miles. And while I could complete a 10K it would be a slow time. But, most importantly, I know I can get to that point, it just means I have to focus on getting there. And the focus has to be on running to rebuild that strength and wind. Which means sticking to the plan, and challenging myself to get there. And most importantly, getting out there and running, no more excuses for not doing so.

As a side note: people, please control your damn dogs! Keep them on leashes when you walk them. And keep them securely in your house or yard if you are not walking them. Because Saturday morning I had to deal with being chased by a pair of loose dogs with no apparent owner, and encountered another couple that were not on the leash while being walked. I don't care if you say that you know your dog is under control, dogs are animals and therefore not 100% under your control. And for those of us who are trying to use the public streets and trails it is a real pain to have to constantly worry if that dog is going to decide to lung at me.

Man, sometimes I just need to take a step back

Dear James, Daniel and Emily

Monday Run

Wednesday Run

I think I need to find a better way to approach all of this. Need to boil it down to some simple things I can just do day by day. Because my current mental approach just isn't working, I find myself upset and angry when I indulge, or come up with a reason to not run. And I know that self-recrimination is not healthy.

My new goal is to make it simple: live more day by day regarding my fitness. I can still set long term goals: run a race, drop X number of pounds, etc. But do that by taking it day by day. Ask myself a few simple questions each day:

1. Is it an exercise day or recovery day? Because I do need to respect the recovery days. If it is an exercise day than do something, most likely go for a run.

2. Did I eat right today? If not, then oh well, do better tomorrow.

Questions to avoid:

1. Why didn't I exercise yesterday? Last I checked I don't know how to time travel so there is no reason to fall into the trap of wondering why I didn't do something in the past. Instead focus on what I can do today.

2. Why didn't I eat better yesterday? See above, no reason to get worked up about what I can no longer control and instead focus on making good choices now.

Because life is doing it's thing and throwing all kinds of reasons at me to not exercise, or not eat right or both on any given day. And some days those reasons will make perfect sense at the time so I don't do what I want or should. And it doesn't do my mental health any good to beat myself up when life does that. So again my new focus is on what I can do today to exercise and/or eat right, and that is all.

All I want to do is run

Dear James, Daniel and Emily

Sick of the cold weather and ice everywhere! I was hoping to get out this week, but while it has warmed up some, I have determined that it has not really cleared the paths where I run. Which means that I would be limited to a jog while worrying about my footing because of ice and darkness. Because ice + darkness = great danger of slipping -> Mike has to slow jog. But, after a winter of slow jogging, I am mentally ready to open it up.

Therefore I am trying to be patient. But I have determined that next week I return back to the MiCoach app and working on upping my speed and tempo. The free running and relaxed tempo have been good over the cold and darkness season. But those conditions are gradually easing. And so it is time to force myself to get back into the faster pace, even if it is only for short periods.

One big change is that I have resigned to not running the Grand Prix races this year. For scheduling reasons (our family vacation has us returning the day before one of the 10K's.) And financial reasons (said family vacation not cheap, trying to curb at least some spending. But I still plan to run in my Half Marathon again this year, and maybe another one in mid summer if I can get my training to cooperate.

Otherwise my other big focus this year, beyond trying to just improve my speed is to embrace the hills. Get myself out and running some more challenging routes, even if I sacrifice a little speed, because the long term benefit is more important. While that sounds contradictory I think I can make both plans work together.

In addition I am planning to ride the stationary bike at least once a week instead of running. First, because that should improve my overall fitness. Second, I am hoping that as the weather improves that at least Kim & I can maybe ride some together, and maybe even do some family riding.

Back into the saddle, remembering this is a process

Dear James, Daniel and Emily,

I was able to return to running over the weekend, which was really nice. And what turned into a cheat week is over and done with. Not beating myself up over these failures.

The weather finally cooperated somewhat over the weekend and I was able to get out for runs both days. Unfortunately the paths are still covered with ice and/snow or slush so the footing was more than questionable. Which meant my focus was on not hurting myself as much as running so I didn't exactly push the speed. And today I knew it would be just as bad, and dark, so I chose to ride the bike again. Which I am thinking may end up being part of the weekly ritual, cut back 1 day of running and swapping in the bike 1 day a week. Just to condition myself to a different exercise and not wear out the running.

Yeah, between the weather, stress from family issues and post-Super Bowl burnout I did not eat well last week. About the only positive is that I at least recorded it all so I know it happened and can remind myself. It really was the perfect storm (pun intended) as the weather prevented me from my normal stress relief of running, and then the weather itself contributed to the stress, turning into a vicious cycle. What do you do when the thing that is causing you stress also prevents you from using your normal stress relief outlet?

But I know from experience that getting fitter and losing weight is a process, not something that happens overnight. Which means I cannot beat myself up over the failures, I just have to move on, get back in the saddle and move on. I know what I need to do, and I cannot let the failure of 1 week cause me to give up.

Must... find... stress... relief soon...

Dear James, Daniel and Emily

This perpetual week of cold and snow is really taking its toll. Being cooped up inside, and not being able to run. Couple that with an onslaught of new stresses at home and I am going more than a little stir crazy. And fighting like hell to not stress eat (and not as successfully as I would like.)

It just cannot get back to normal soon enough for me: weather I can run in, take the kids to school at a normal time, etc. I can handle running in below freezing temps, I can layer and run. What I have trouble with is snow and uncertain footing since I run in the dark. And I do draw the line at zero degrees. 

And I am a creature of habit, which means the disruption of school drop off times throws my whole day off. Which it shouldn't, in fact it really should mean I have more time to run. But the obstacle is that uncertainty throws of my timing, when do I get up, when do I run etc. 

And I know all of the above is creating excuses for not just doing something. But some times that happens, and the real world goal is how to live with these obstacles and fight through them. If I had more money/time I would just join a gym so I could go run every morning regardless of weather, but that's just not an option right now. I am closing in an elliptical trainer choice that will solve a lot of these issues. But until then I shall endeavor to persevere. 

Figuring out how to stop the backslide

Dear James, Daniel and Emily

This was a tough weekend. First, there was food, lots of food as there were Super Bowl celebrations at work, then our own party. Second, the damn white crap just never stopped coming down, making it tough to run. So I ate too much a couple of days, and did not get nearly as much exercise as I would like. Now the task is to fight back against that negative momentum.

Strange to say but I actually ate less the day of the Super Bowl. Too busy cleaning and preparing the house, then the nerves during the game kept me away from the grazing to the large extent. The same could not be said when we had a pre-game party at work, or the day we were effectively stuck in the house due to the weather. About the only positive thing I can take away is that I at least tracked it all, so I knew how much I ate. Because that habit is really important, keeping track of what you eat makes a big difference in developing better eating habits.

I have 1 message to the people of the world: shovel your damn sidewalks! I don't really mind running in the cold, I can layer up and eventually my body heat kicks in. But, running on deep snow is a lot like running on a beach. And running on sidewalks covered with snow is really kind of dangerous since you never know if you are going to hit an icy spot just right. There are 2 ways to resolve this issue. First, if people could just shovel their sidewalks properly like we do on our block. Second, I could buy a treadmill or elliptical or drive to a gym.

This last weekend I substituted shoveling snow (when my neighbor with the tractor didn't beat me to it.) But that isn't a real viable option on regular school days since it is dark when I get up. This week I am going to try using the stationary recumbent bike for a few days. But long term I am going to get serious about getting a treadmill or preferably an elliptical trainer as an alternative for days when I am forced to be inside.

The most important thing is to maintain my focus on the good habits. And not let the bad habits that resurfaced over the weekend gain any momentum. I know that is possible. And think of all the things I have to look forward to.