Weekend Recap

Busy busy busy

Baseball Saturday morning, with the added chaos of Picture Day. Very crazy, arrived 45 minutes early then all of the games were about 15 minutes late. Lots of standing around waiting for pictures to be taken, while Emily got tired of sitting in the stroller and had to be carried. Plus keeping the kids kind of corralled with their respective teams. I uploaded some pix from this week and last week on the Picasa site, and changed the Slide show to show all pictures from this summer's baseball games.

Then Saturday afternoon we tried to just relax some before heading over to Dennis' house for his and Dustin's combined birthday party. The party was fun, no major trauma from the dogs. I also uploaded some pictures on the Picasa sit from there as well. Played lots of Ladder ball, Kim and I got on and didn't lose a game (except for the last one played in total darkness so we won't count that). Ladder ball seems to have replaced bocce ball, at least for this summer. It's more fun that bocce to some extent, and not nearly as stressful on the wrists.

Sunday we did a family trip to the Renaissance Festival (yes more pictures as well). It had been 2 years, and James & Daniel got a little more out of it, but I think we will wait another 2 years at least before we go again. It is just a little too much still for the kids, and too expensive for us once you factor in food, tickets, and if you buy any of the expensive items for sale there. Then we came back to town, did a little shopping, then had a nightmare dinner at Perkins. Emily decided more or less as soon as we sat down that she was tired of sitting still and pretty much screamed the whole time.

But overall a good weekend, lots of fun times, some stress but mostly fun. Looking forward to a 4 day week then a 3 day weekend.

The Virtuous Life

So I came across this very interesting series of articles on one of my favorite blogs, The Art of Manliness, the articles dealt with Ben Franklin's definition of virtue and the elements of living a virtuous life. I remember reading about this when I read the Autobiography of Ben Franklin, and again the general concept of virtue and what it meant to the Founding Fathers. And how crucial that was to the support for the Constitution and the Bill of Rights, that the government would only succeed as long as the citizens were virtuous.

So I am going to tag along to this and set up a spreadsheet along these lines, and just for the heck of it see how I do over the space of a week. I like to think that I live pretty close to what Franklin would have liked, but this will be an interesting exercise to see how close (or far off) I truly am.

	Monday	Tuesday	Wednesday	Thursday	Friday	Saturday	Sunday
Temperance
Silence	xx	x				x	x
Order
Resolution		x	x	x	x
Frugality		x
Industry	x	xx	xx	xx	xxx	x	x
Sincerity
Justice
Moderation	x	xx	x	xx	xx
Cleanliness
Tranquility	xx
Chastity
Humility

So clearly my biggest weaknesses are in the area of industry, of course the very fact that I am writing this while I am at work is an example of that. But I prefer to think of that in terms of my strengths versus weaknesses. A couple of year ago I took a Strengths test and determined that my strengths do not lie in the area of focused single task work. And since I work in a call center I am available and ready for a call so it is not like I am not doing anything. My other big weakness is moderation, particularly in the area of food. That is an area I can strive to improve on. It's an interesting self study, and I think a generally worthwhile set of goals to strive for.

Random thoughts for Friday

• So we had a real tragedy occur here in the Springs Metro last weekend. A guy who was apparently embroiled in financial problems as well as domestic violence issues killed his 2 sons and then committed suicide by cop by attacking a sheriff deputy with knife. As if the general story wasn''t sad enough, apparently the guys wife, who was separated, lived across the street from my mother, she recalls watching the kids play, and their toys are still in the yard. So my mother was understandably distraught upon learning this. Well today there was a story in the paper where apparently a number of this guys friends gathered together the other night in a memorial, and all everyone could talk about was how he was such a nice guy etc. Needless to say this really set Kim off when she read it, she was pretty upset that these people could sit around and talk about how great this guy was when he killed his kids.
• The NBA draft has come and gone and I have no idea which players ended up with each teams when all was said and done. Every year it gets harder and harder to track these things.
• Another busy weekend coming up: boys baseball/t-ball tomorrow, then Dennis' birthday party tomorrow night, and possibly Dustin, if he feels like being with Dennis this weekend. Then possibly Renaissance festival on Sunday.

Happy Birthday Dennis

Happy Birthday to my Brother in Law Dennis

also from Kim, James, Daniel & Emily

Notes on how hard it is to predict the course of one's life

Since I have spent the last couple of weeks reconnecting with a lot of old friends via Facebook I have been given the chance to glimpse at their lives. And they have a chance to see my life as well. And it is interesting to me when I look at some of these people's lives now, and think 2 things: looking back am I that surprised they are who they are now? And are they that surprised that I am who I am now?

Certainly a couple of old old friends from back in Junior High school that I just reconnected with are excellent examples of that. Both appear to be living very happy lives, but kind of gypsy like, married, but no kids, free to engage in long bicycle trips or various other fun activities. And with these 2, looking back I am really not that surprised, they were both very much free spirits when I knew them, and it is not that surprising that they ended up living a lifestyle that embraces that attitude.

But I wonder if they are surprised about me? In our culture we all like to think of ourselves as unique, not part of the crowd. And certainly in Junior high and high school that is especially true. In Junior High I definitely embodied the free spirit rebellious attitude, very much into challenging authority etc. And the same was more or less true through most of college.

So I cannot exactly pinpoint the time when I changed over into the far more settled, fairly conservative family man that I am today. I am just curious if any of these old friends find it surprising that I have become that or are not surprised at all. If they are not all that surprised I guess I would be mildly disappointed that people perceived my rebellious attitudes as more or less an act or a phase, but it doesn't change who or what I am. It's just an interesting mental exercise.

Obama is the candidate for the children of the Sixties

I was thinking today, as I read more in The Gonzo Way, in particular the chapter on politics and the statement about how 'we is the most important word in politics', and reflecting on the death of George Carlin, another great 60's Icon, that the election of Barrack Obama would make these people very very happy.

Bill Clinton was a symbol of the Baby Boomers, very smart, dedicating his life to doing good, but a little flexible in his morality, if you get my drift. But Obama is a symbol of everything the Boomers worked for: a liberal, biracial candidate whose primary focus is on the We in politics. If I were to describe a candidate that would get all of my high school teachers excited it would be Obama. And the way he is doing things, challenging the old ways of doing things whenever possible, is exactly the sort of thinking that my generation and a little older were 'brainwashed' with.

The whole campaign finance thing illustrates how the Obama campaign is embracing the grassroots we the people type of campaign espoused in the Sixties (and many other times before) and merging it with the wonders of new technology and the Internet. This is the type of campaign that only people of a certain generation and younger can embrace.

On the issues of Race and Gender much of my thinking was influenced by children's programs like Sesame Street, Electric Company, Big Blue Marble, Free To Be You and Me. All of which emphasized that color and gender really and truly mean nothing, it's just a sign of diversity, but nothing more. And Obama's candidacy is symbolic of that.

As far as politics, he is a product of the I Have a Dream Speech and Watergate, a willingness to embrace all kinds of possibilities and different ways of thought. And a refusal to accept No for an answer in politics or blind acceptance of any government action as being for the 'Good of the Nation'.

And I think that somewhere Billy Jack is deciding that if we can't truly have the change that he wants, that at least Obama gets us headed in the right direction.

Memory, Facebook and the wages of sin

So in the last 6 months or so Facebook has really exploded for me. I have now gotten virtually my entire group of college friends 'reunited' on Facebook. And I am slowly getting the 'wired' members of my family and some old high school friends on it as well. It has been really cool and fascinating to see people whom I haven't seen in 20 years in some cases even if only via computer.

One of the big events that I have experienced second hand via Facebook was the recent reunion concerts given by the Fluid, a band that was very popular in the Denver/Boulder area when I was in college and right after. Here is an excellent review of one of the concerts written by one of these old friends of mine. The review really captures not just the concert and the songs, but it also captures what it meant for a lot of the people who attended, to see a band they hadn't seen in a long time play again. It wasn't just a reunion for the band, in a lot of ways it was a reunion of a group of old friends and acquaintances.

Anyone who knows me or has read many of my blogs knows I am a sucker for nostalgia. I love reunions, gatherings of old friends, sitting around swapping stories, lies, memories etc. As a child I spent a lot of time looking at old family pictures, just because it was fun to be reminded of certain events. So when this group of people began to jell on Facebook I suggested that we try and organize a reunion of sorts next year. My hope is that this concert event will provide some additional impetus for that, as people remember all the old faces and friendships.

Of course, being the isolated family guy that I am I did not attend these concerts because trying to get my act together for a night in Denver away from my family was just not happening. One of the reasons I suggested giving a year of lead time for planning etc. on the reunion is because I know that I need some time to get myself and the family planning for that kind of visit.

But another of the reason's I didn't attend is because the music and excitement of seeing this particular band didn't resonate with me. And I couldn't quite put my finger on why. As I said I am a sucker for nostalgia, one of the playlists on my iPod is songs that I listened to over and over in my college days. And I know I saw this band play a time or 2. But then last night on the drive home it hit me. I was probably so drunk at those concerts that I stood no chance of remembering them. And because I never owned one of the bands albums I had no other way to remember the music. Which is really kind of sad, and a reminder to me of why I stopped drinking. For someone who loves memories and cherishes them to not have some because of mind altering substances is not good. Which is one of the many reasons why I don't drink today, I don't want to miss a single one of the many events in my children's lives that will become cherished memories.

My Writings and Gonzo

So Saturday I picked up a book at the Library: The Gonzo Way which is written by the widow of Hunter Thompson and Douglas Brinkley. It is a small, almost pamphlet like book. It is not so much a biography (there are plenty of those) or memoir, as it is a celebration of Hunter, what he was, his writings and what he meant for so many people.



I loved Hunter Thompson's writings for the longest time. I got a little frustrated by his writing towards the end of the 90's but I think that was more because I had become almost as disenchanted with the politics as he was. And instead of doing something about it I just kind of stepped back from it all. But with this blog I have become more and more focused on politics and culture. And as a result when I picked this up I found myself kind of returning to what I once loved so much.



One of the things that is emphasized in the book is yes, Hunter did drink to excess, and indulged in more recreational drug use than anyone should expect. And while his writing sometimes reflected that, the thing that few people really notice unless you reread his books, (beyond Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas) is how much research really went into the writing. Hunter made a lot of outlandish statements, and often painted some very odd pictures of a lot of people, but very very rarely did he get his facts wrong.



In reading the book I have come to question why I write this blog. Part of it is to share my life with people, especially my family. But the biggest reason (which is important given the rather small readership I have) is that I do like to write. And I love to read, and the blog is really the best way I can bring the 2 together, because I can report on what I am reading. And if I can get some people to read what I report, and this leads them to enhance their own learning by reading more, then that is all to the better.



So by writing this I hope that in some small way I am capturing and channeling my own inner Gonzo, and hopefully for those who read it, their lives are enhanced as well. And for those who have a hard time with my very eclectic choice of post topics, you will have to live with it, because a sign of a full life and mind (in my opinion) is a wide variety of interests, and this blog captures those many many interests I have.

Weekend Recap

So I had a great time at the Sky Sox game. Kim got a little stressed out because we took Tammy's kids along and they are not used to behaving well in public, much less a setting like Sky Sox where they are expected to sit more or less still for that long. I didn't get any picture unfortunately because Kim somehow ended up with the diaper bag with the camera in it the whole evening. But I enjoyed it, the Sky Sox played well, and James and Daniel actually did pretty well as far as sitting and watching the game.

So yesterday, at the spur of the moment, we ended up hosting Selena's birthday party. Which actually went well, Tammy did pretty much all of the setting up and cleaning so really all we had to do was be there and open our home to these kids. James had kind of an icky stomach so he had a pretty subdued time but Daniel enjoyed himself. I should be able to upload some pictures tonight.

We ended up getting started on a back yard project while everyone was there, and some of them pitched in to a certain extent. I kind of overdid it, but I am glad we got the work done. We have a much better idea of how that project will go now.

James baseball

So James had his second game of the season today, and I managed to catch this shot (see above). If you look closely you can see James about to make contact with the ball, pretty spectacular shot if I do say so. Of course I think he fouled it off, but still pretty cool to capture it on film. James is enjoying the baseball, although I think he is ready for a sports break. Of course I think he will probably want to play soccer in the fall if his buddy Miles is playing. But he really seems to have a good instinct for baseball (of all things, the one sport I don't play).

After the game we walked over to the library to get some books for me & the kids. Then we headed over to Acacia Park and the Uncle Wilbur fountain. James enjoyed himself, but Daniel was not really up to playing in the fountain. Then tonight it is off to the Sky Sox game.

Why I am throwing my support (such as it is) behind Obama

Really it comes down to one thing: the approach of the candidate. Obama has been positive the entire campaign, he tries not to sugarcoat things, but he still tries to keep positive and send out a positive message. He doesn't get too caught up in the blame game, he just says we need a change, and that he can deliver that change.

The thing about a President is that more than anything else, their most significant impact can be to establish a tone. That is what Reagan did more successfully than anything else, he made us feel good about our country again, after a pretty lengthy period of just having our national psyche get hammered. In a sense that was what Clinton delivered as well. Unfortunately the tone that George II has delivered has been one of fear and divisiveness and politics. From day 1 George has been about trying to win the next campaign and therefore his decisions have always been about spin and focusing on what interest groups were more significant.

Everything I have seen, heard and read from Obama has been about positive change and working together. That we as a country (everyone, not just the rich, or middle class, or white people or people of color) can work together and fix what is broken. He doesn't sugar coat things, he comes right out and admits when something is wrong, and says that we can fix it. I think that is what our country needs right now, a President who doesn't try and hide from what is wrong (like playing on his ranch while a city drowns), we need someone who says: this is broken, what can we do to fix it? And I know we can fix it if we just work together.

That is why, for the first time in 16 years I am going to vote for a major party candidate because I want that man to be president. I voted for Kerry in 04, but only because I was participating in a vote swap program so someone somewhere else would vote for Nader. I have voted strictly third party since 92. But this year I think Obama captures the elements of the third party candidates that I have liked, and has a really good chance of winning. Plus the absolute last thing I think this country needs is a pale older version of the Bush dynasty.

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On being a Sports Fan

So with the end of the NBA season and my realization of how painful it was to watch the Finals series alone I have been contemplating what it means to be a sports fan. There are different kinds of fans. There are the people who just like to watch the sport. And there are those who develop and attachment to the players and then there are those who develop an attachment to a team. I am in the last group.

In some sports I am more of a fan of the sport, I can watch soccer and not really care who wins. And I will watch pretty much any kind of football and not care who wins, or basketball. And this works so long as I don't have a team involved in the game I am playing. For example I watch the NCAA men's basketball every year and rarely because I have much of a rooting interest. And I really enjoy it because I don't really care who wins. The same thing happens in college football during the bowl season.

However, in pro basketball or football I generally have a vested interest, either because my team(s) is playing or because the result will have a direct effect on my team(s). But again, so long as one of my teams is not playing I can be more casual about the results and not explode if something bad happens to the team I am rooting for.

But, if one of my teams is playing... then I tend to lose control. Less so in football than basketball but I have been known to scream at the TV screen a few times during a Bronco game.

So here's the rub as it were: I know that I was effectively raised to be this way. My father was this way (and still is to some extent). And I want my children to learn to appreciate the joy that I get from watching and playing sports. And one of the ways to do this is to develop that rooting interest before they learn to appreciate the game for the game itself. James is starting to develop an interest in watching the games with me, but because he is 6 he really doesn't have the knowledge to appreciate a beautiful no look pass, or pretty shot, or great run or amazing tackle. All he really knows at this point is who wins or loses and is it our team. Any time I am watching a game he will ask who we are cheering for and in the black and white world of a 6 year old the concept of just watching the game for the joy of it doesn't make sense.

But I want to develop an appreciation of the sports themselves in him before he becomes just another screaming maniac, living and dying for his team. Because, in recent years, I have learned that approaching the games that way is a) not healthy and b) likely to reduce the enjoyment of the game. On the other hand I think that there is something to be gained from developing that attachment, it shows a willingness to commit to something. One of the funnier things about this recent series was when I was watching the second game at my Dad's and my brother said he wasn't much of a Laker fan any more, and James' reaction was "what? how can you stop cheering for your team?" Which I am not sure is a good thing or bad thing. I have gotten so much joy over the years from my sports teams winning, and just having a team that you follow can be an entry into a lot of conversations. So the thin line is how to encourage that without continuing the same cycle that has resulted in my not being able to enjoy the games and being brought to tears multiple times as a child by horrific losses.

The NBA Finals and why I refused to watch

(I wrote this last Friday, and the events of the weekend and last night didn't change things a bit.)

Analysis:

Youth was not served, it was very definitely given a taste of what experience means. Not so much in the Kobe vs. Big 3 matchup, although just from that sentence you kind of get an idea of the bigger problem. No it was the Lakers support players and role players, their youth and inexperience that really made the difference. Pau Gasol is very talented, but this is the first year he ever actually won so much as a playoff game. And he needs to learn what it takes and what he has to do to win when the stage gets this big. Lamar Odom also shrunk in the face of the big lights. And the cocky role players are also learning their lesson: Sasha, Vlade, Jordan, young Luke, Rony. Yes the Celtics players may not have that championship experience, but they have been in the league, and have playoff experience, and the guys who really stepped it up last night: Posey, House, Allen, they have been there, and Posey has the ring to prove it.

I was a little surprised at some of the moves Phil made, but I think he is starting to realize that when his players start to play like rookies, losing their heads, making big mistakes or letting the pressure get to them, he can't make them learn on their own. A lot has been made about how last night's game proved Kobe is no Jordan, and that is true. But people forget that Jordan and the Bulls had to endure their share of playoff losses before they learned to step up. I think Kobe really wants to win, but he also wants the team to win. And the Celtics have learned from the Pistons in '04, the Spurs, and the Suns how to defend Kobe and take him out of his game. And the rest of the team is not emotionally strong enough to take up the slack.

I think that next year, when Bynum returns healthy, and he and Gasol start playing together, and Odom slides to small forward they will be a much better and more dangerous team come playoff time. And I think the role players will learn from this year, when and how to play, and how to step up their intensity on defense. And their record should be better without the initial bad part of the season they had to endure.

My sports watching evolution

So I watched game 1. Then I watched the 1st quarter of game 2. Then I consciously decided that I couldn't watch anymore. It just wasn't fun, I couldn't watch without a bad feeling in my stomach, my neck tightening up and frustration boiling up. It's just one of those things, it doesn't help that since Kim really doesn't like basketball I get stuck watching the games alone. Maybe I could do better in a big group, but the bottom line is no more basketball watching this season. I think that basketball is just harder to watch because it is so fast that any moment can be a "come one ref, can't you see that foul?" or "why did you take that stupid 3 point shot when Gasol was all alone in the paint?" moment. Whereas football can be a lot easier due to the slower nature and a wholly different sense of momentum. Of course I think the biggest key is to stop making the sports watching into a solitary event, where I just hole up and watch it alone. I think that more than anything is what leads to the tension and anger, because there is no one else around for stress relief.

Newt Gingrich, supreme fear-monger

Newt Gingrich, supreme fear-monger - Glenn Greenwald - Salon.com

Returning to my earlier theme of how FEAR is taking over our discourse. Not just everyday fears that stem from advertising, but also big picture Fear. This is really the worst case scenario in my opinion, that the same reasoning that led to Hitler's getting Emergency War Powers could cause the Republicans to get carte blanche in enverything they do in the name of National Security. And I can only hope that the American Public doesn't buy it.

Weekend Recap

Weekend Recap

Busy weekend, what with boys baseball, and Fathers Day. And with Kim working day shifts both days it was pretty challenging.

So Saturday Daniel had his first t-ball game, then had to play another as the schedule makers set up his team with a double header to start the season. And then James had his first game. Which meant a 3 hour block of time at the Palmer HS practice field. Daniel seemed to enjoy himself, although the second game was definitely too much. But he did go out and play the entire game, which was a real big step in the right direction and difference from the Indoor soccer. What the Y does is just let each team bat through the order twice, for a total of 2 innings. They don't even try to worry about outs or anything like that. It is just hit and run, and have the fielding team try and get the ball and get it to first base. Which is really fun to watch. Daniel's team has I think 7 kids total, and 3 of them are Daniel, Brandon (cousin) and Seth (family friend), so our little group comprises the core of the team.

3 of the 4 kids in the first team circle pictured above are 'our kids'.

James game went well, although I am not sure how into it he is, although he was kind of worn out by game time. But he did get 2 decent hits playing coach pitch. Here is the second one:

What's cool is you can see the ball in the air as he runs to first.

So we had a pretty busy morning Saturday followed by a relaxed afternoon and evening. We then decided to go ahead and host a Fathers day Barbecue at our house Sunday. I got a chance to try out the new grill. It was a very relaxed occasion, the only problems were Emily being somewhat grouchy and James kept getting hurt while rough housing on the trampoline. He has a very hard time sometimes keeping up with the big kids. For one thing he is small for his age, and while he tries hard to hang in there he gets bounced around a lot. And he gets very dramatic about his injuries, which does get on my nerves after a while. But he does keep going back in, and eventually he realized that we had had enough, and somehow stuck it out the rest of the night. I got some pictures but haven't uploaded them yet, I hope to do so tonight and will link this when I do.

Obama calls absent black fathers to task - CNN.com

Obama calls absent black fathers to task - CNN.com

I can't really speak from the experience of an absent father but I see enough of them that I can tell you what a huge difference it makes. When I look at Tammy's kids, or Tracy's kids, I can tell the difference. And this goes back to my comment last week that any fool can get a girl pregnant it takes a man to raise a child.

And I think it is a big deal for a Democratic candidate to step up and make a comment like this. These sorts of comments have generally been reserved for the Republican's and their 'welfare mom' comments. I like Obama a lot, and this is one of the reasons, he comes the closest of any candidate can to coming right out and saying what is really happening in our country and ways to address it, without pandering to big interest groups.

Happy Birthday Dan

Happy Birthday Dan!

From Mikimjimdanem

(otherwise known as Mike, Kim, James, Daniel & Emily)

Happy Birthday Dave

Happy Birthday Dave

From your brother Mike

And Nephews James, Daniel and Niece Emily

Fatherhood

Last night my mom said something that came across to me as a great compliment, she said she was very comfortable with my kids because I am raising them the same way I was raised. That may not seem like a compliment but it was to me. For the very simple reason that overall I am pretty comfortable in my own skin, and have been for several years now. And I have lived most of my life looking forward, instead of sitting around pondering the past and wishing I had made different choices. And if that is because of the way I was raised, then I guess I could do a lot worse than raising my kids the same way.

For several years, and more so in recent years I have come to the conclusion that the ultimate sign of masculinity, of being a 'real man' is to be a father. Being buff, in great shape, drinking the most beers, knowing how to shoot, fix a car, throw a ball, none of those things proves you are more of a man than being a father. And I think that message is lost in our culture at times. And I am not just talking about getting a girl pregnant, any fool can do that, I mean stepping up and raising that child.

All of this leads up to my praise of my own father. I love my Dad, not just because he's my Dad but because of who he is. All of my friends often praise my dad, asking about him and what he is up to. He is a truly unique character in so many ways. How many 69 year old men arrange their retirement schedule so they can get up early 3 day a week and go play basketball with a bunch of 18-25 year olds? Or play soccer with similar groups at lunch times? And at the same time describe themselves as a recluse? Or are willing to move out of their house for a couple of months so the renters of the house next door can move into while their house is being renovated?

Dad gave me so many things: my love of reading, sports, the outdoors, and anything new. My thirst for knowledge, useful and not so useful comes from him. And my groundedness, my stability in the face of the consistent chaos that comes from being married with children also stems from him, watching him become stepfather to 4 teenagers and later foster parent to other children, while also inviting his mother to live in the same household. When I think of my childhood: 3 of us boys, mostly living with our Mom, but spending a fair amount of time at our Dad's, where there were 2-4 step siblings around at various times, plus my grandmother, plus my stepmother running a day care center, first from their house, then across the street. So imagine complete chaos. Yet in the face of all that there was order, we all sat down together at the dinner table every night, had to listen to Dad's announcements, and everyone chipped in with the cooking & cleaning. And it was Dad's calm in the face of all that, and his willingness to step up and be there for his kids and the step kids that I learned from.

More often than not Dad was always there for the right lesson at the right time, usually taught in ways that made it easy to learn. And I am still learning to this day, and that was the greatest lesson of all: learning never ever stops, and being coachable can be the greatest talent of all. And if I can be the same father to my kids that my Dad was (and still is) to me, then I know I will have done a good job.

The Back Lawn

All I can say about our lawn in general this year is aaaarrrggggh! With the sprinkler system not working and not much precipitation the lawns has taken a real beating. And the time when I think about just turning on a sprinkler is also the time of night when our water usage is highest: the evenings, what with bath time, dishwasher, Kim keeping up with laundry etc. So the lawns look bad.

But the back lawn has become especially frustrating for me, starting really when we moved into the house. When we moved in the back area of the house was heavily landscaped and gardened. But we didn't really like that, so we started clearing that all out. The consequence of that however was drainage, bad drainage, resulting in flooding into the house. So we had a landscaper come in and really fix up the back yard. The problem was that the grass seed they put in the back yard is a kind of wild grass rather than traditional blue grass, so ever since then it has grown as this clumped lawn, with bare spots for weeds to grow into. Last year I wanted to just till up the whole thing and reseed it with a different seed. Also smooth it out some, part of the landscaping was to put in a large swale in the middle of the yard, which was supposed to even out over time, but really hasn't.

So this year I have to start manually watering what is there so it doesn't go completely to pot. Then try and figure out how to get some decent soil and fertilizer in or till it out to the point where I can lay sod. Of course this is all moot without a decent sprinkler system. Sigh... if I had known how disruptive that would be when we had the sewer work done I would have arranged to have a sprinkler guy come in the same day and make sure the sprinkler was repaired at that time.

This part of my back yard project is going to take some time and money to fix, and it honestly probably won't get fixed this year.

Kid's Play Area

Kid's Play Area

This area of the backyard has become an eyesore for me. It is almost always cluttered with toys and trash, often in some stage of disrepair. When we first created it we made a cardinal error in not laying weed blocker under the gravel. So we have been fighting the battle of weeds as well, well not just weeds, some of it is grasses and other vegetation. Then the nice wooden swing set that the grandparents purchased for James and we put together has shown some wear and tear from years of use by lots of kids, some too big for what they were doing, and poor quality lumber. And last is that the pea gravel that we put in has become the litter box for the neighborhood strays.

So we have talked about what we want, and what the kids want, and how to get there from where we are at. And I actually think we might get most of this done this summer if we apply ourselves and get some help. Here is the general outline:

1. Build a clubhouse onto the swing set. With 2-3 Added posts that we will actually set into concrete. This will do a couple of things.

• Reinforce the swing set structure so I can worry less about having it crash in the middle of a party while there are 3-2 kids on it.
• Allow us to paint the overall structure which should help seal the existing wood and prevent further deterioration.
• Decrease ground area in the play area that would need to be cleared of vegetation etc. and a smaller area to cover if we purchase some new ground cover material.
• Give the kids something new to play on/in, variety is the spice of life, and with the kids getting more imaginative in their play a club house would be a big boost.
• Allow us to build an attached Toy chest for storage of the outside toys, to alleviate scatter.

2. Build a walkway between the patio and trampoline so even in winter kids can get to the trampoline and not worry about mud.

• Also decreases ground area for vegetation and/cat problems

3. Spray some vegetation killer in the uncovered area to kill what has grown up

4. Add some new ground cover, even if it is just more pea gravel.

• Ideally some recycled tire rubber under the swing set
• And some more Pea gravel and/or sand in a more isolated area to act as a sand box for digging in.

I think we can actually get all this done this summer with a little help. And budget wise I don't think it would be too expensive. We actually have some good plywood panels that we got from my mother's construction project on her house last year and we could use that pretty easily. We'll see how it goes. I need to plan this out now, actually do some measuring etc. Then get started. If the weather and children cooperate we might actually get some of it done this weekend. Below is a preliminary plan that I worked out yesterday.

Back Yard Renovation

The Back yard renovation

So this summer I have been pondering what to do with various issues with our yard. And especially the back yard. We have some obstacles to overcome back there. First is the kid's play area, second is the lawn, third is seating and having a nice area for entertaining, fourth is the fencing.

Well we have begun to tackle some of these in little ways. One of the biggest boons has been that Kim has moved to day shifts so we actually have more time in the evenings, once we actually dedicate ourselves to it. And now that our vacation is over and basically paid for, we can budget out some of what we want to do and make a plan.

One of the things that has bugged me for years is that we have had a hard time with patio tables. We bought a nice patio set a year or 2 after we moved in, and it worked for a couple of years. But then nature took it's course. The table was a glass top one and had an umbrella. Well one morning after a particularly bad windstorm I looked outside and the glass on the table had just shattered. Probably due to a combination of sun rain etc. making it brittle, followed by the umbrella putting undue pressure on it. Then I had a bright idea of sealing a couple of old folding tables with outdoor polyurethane and setting them up. Well it turned out the 5 coats wasn't enough, they didn't make it a year before rotting. Then last year we got an old aluminum table from Kim's grandparents. That got carried away by the wind. Last year I was looking at building a wooden picnic table but that was OBE. Well finally this year we arrived at a solution. Home Depot is selling these tables. Last weekend we bought one, and some stain. Took it home, Kim stained it and we assembled it, pretty much 1-2-3. And now this year we finally have what should be a durable, reliable patio table that should survive the test of time and the elements.

One of the other things that I have wanted is a new barbecue grill. We purchased our existing grill the year we moved into the house. And it worked quite well for 8 years and many many family barbecues. Including replacing the burners a couple of years ago. But it was beginning to show it's age, and also having trouble handling the increased amounts of food I was cooking on it. Well last year I determined what I wanted, but like building a picnic table from scratch that also was OBE. I did get an older, good, charcoal grill from Kim's grandparents, but a) Kim doesn't like charcoal grilling, b) gas grilling is really much more convenient. Well this year with Kim's work getting more settled, and no major expenses on the horizon Kim let me buy this for Fathers Day, using part of our stimulus check. I did an awful lot of research on choosing the grill, and making the decision. And after a minor hiccup (bad regulator, had to be replaced) it worked like a charm on Saturday night for dinner. I can hardly wait to test it out in a big way at a family barbecue.

So that it all for today, I will talk tomorrow about the Kid's play area and our plans for it.

So Many links, So little time

So Many links, So little time

The ground rules for writing about your kids. - By Emily Bazelon - Slate Magazine

Interesting article with some implications for me. Since of course I have an average readership of 3-4 per day and 2 of those are my parents I don't worry about it too much. For a while a few months back when I was trying to increase readership I had taken to shortening names or using pseudonyms, in the hope that this somehow protected people's privacy.

I have since decided this wasn't that necessary, due to my limited scope of readers. Realistically I write more for the fun of it at this point than because I am trying to make a going concern of it. And therefore I figure I can include as much or as little as I feel the subject requires. Basically my rule of thumb is not to get too personal about people outside of the immediate family. So far none of my small readership has complained. I will trust that if anyone reads anything that reveals too much they will tell me.

Karl Rove, Hurricane Katrina, George W. Bush Salon Books

This is really a pretty brutal story of how the Bush administration pretty much completely dropped the ball during the first week of Katrina. It's almost like the stories from the USSR where the first action was not to fix the problem, but how to hide the disaster and then shift blame. How typical of this administration to play politics while people died.

Fear on TV, and in the voting booth

This doesn't tell me much I didn't already know or feel. But it does help to understand how and why politicians will continue to run these ads. For example, if I was even close to undecided or undecided on an issue or candidate, and I didn't study it and make my mind up before going to the polls (which is true of many Americans unfortunately), and my subconscious registered the stronger of 2 ads on the issue or candidate, guess which way I will probably go?

So while these attack ads may not work as well on voters who take the time to study the issues and then vote beforehand, they will work on the voter who hasn't made up their mind and just walks into the voting booth and starts pulling levers. The really unfortunate thing is this means we are stuck with the attack ads. The only response we can make is to educate ourselves as voters and know what and who we are voting for when we go to vote, so we don't fall back on that subliminal subconscious feeling.

Quit Coddling Your Kids

Preaching to the choir as far as I am concerned. But an excellent article nonetheless.

Examples in the Media of Fear and it's manipulation

Here are a few examples of what I am talking about

Think Again: Hatred for Sale Illegal immigration opposition broken down as really just fear and Hatred, not a real look at the true costs and/or benefits.





Bitter Hillary supporters This will probably get a lot more play than it deserves based on the actual number of voters involved. It will probably get major play by the end of the week and this one guy will be on Fox News by the end of the week. Making mountains out of mole hills, your mass media in action.

Read this story then this one notice how the tone is different regarding the exact same story and event. Especially how much worse the whole event sounds in the second story. Just a fascinating perpective on how one news source plays into the fear of homosexuality by making the event sound much much worse.

More interesting comparisons, article one about Obama and the DNC, and article two about the same thing.

Raising a child without fear

(I am not even pretending to be an expert on child raising, these are just some thoughts I have based on personal experience and miscellaneous reading I have done.)

First of all I am not talking about raising a child who is fearless. For 2 reasons, I think fear is generally a natural reaction, someone who is truly fearless is not sane; and it's not so much the child's fear that I am talking about, it's the parents.

Harkening back to Monday's post, advertising and all of the advice out there make it seem like the world is a terrible place, with sexual predators and diseases and injuries just waiting outside the front door of your house to nail your precious child. This has led to the 'Helicopter Parent' syndrome, of parents who are afraid to let their kids out of the house, and if they go to a play ground they hover around, just a step away to catch their child when they fall. Well this doesn't help anyone in the long term. The parent ends up a nervous wreck, always worried and stressed out. The child ends up never having had to deal with the consequences of 'falling down', and as a result they never develop a real instinct for independence.

An example of this is a friend who has a 1 year old son, this son never lets anyone else hold him, he freaks out if she leaves the room, it's just terrible. Well if you stretch this analogy to what happens when it is time for him to go to school? Well I think these Helicopter Parents are doing the same thing with their bigger kids, teaching them that Mommy and Daddy will always be there, in easy reach, never fostering a sense of independence.

As a parent in today's culture one of the hardest things to do is let go. We are bombarded with all of these 'What if's'. That is why I strongly support this web site and the ideas on there. I know the world has changed, and there are simply more people out there then when I grew up. But that shouldn't stop us from raising independent children capable of fending for themselves to a certain extent.

The other side of this is to teach/raise children to understand fear and learn to deal with it. Know when it is irrational fear that can be ignored, or a rational fear that needs to be listened to. An example, I was afraid of dogs as a child, even though we had a dog of our own, I was not comfortable and would go out of my way on the way to and from school to avoid the unleashed dogs. This was not helped by the fact that I was actually attacked once (a funny story in retrospect, just not that funny then). Well when James was bit by Dennis' dog I was worried that he would let that affect him forever, but he hasn't (at least so far). He has taken a rational fear (barking dog might well attack and bite me) and realized how to deal with it. The next step is the irrational fears: does that storm cloud hold a tornado, is there a shark in that lake? And those fears in most cases can only be solved with education.

So to sum up, it is ok for kids to fear things, so long as they understand why they are afraid and know how to handle it. And the most important thing for parents is to not let our fears for our kids make us so over protective that we raise kids in a shell. Otherwise we face a generation of over dependent children and eventually adults who have never learned to face their fears and rely on someone else to solve their problems.

Happy Birthday Kirk

June is a big month for family birthdays: Kirk, Dave, Dan, Dennis, Dustin, Chyanne, Selena. So I won't try and do big posts for everyone individually. But I will try and get some quick mentions as possible.

So Happy Birthday Kirk, (he's the guy on the right), officially a step brother, but a good older brother in all but name. Enjoy some good music and fun times on this, your birthday.

Politics & Fear

In my studies of political history one of the things I believe is that Fear is the easiest way to go in Politics. It is always easy to craft a campaign that makes the voters fear your opponent and/or the consequences of electing that person or passing that bill. On the opposite side, one of the hardest ways to campaign is to focus on hope and or the positives.

One of my least favorite figures in Colorado politics is Douglas Bruce, and that is because he appeals to the Fear of government & taxes. And that appeal to me is a lot like the old Southern politicians who waved the race card. It's an easy way out, and it never really answers any questions and does anything for the voters in the long run. The hard way would be to tell voters that the way to help them would be to actually try and fix their government, not just by starving it into nothingness by cutting taxes. If people are afraid of their government and government waste then they should try & fix it, not get rid of it.

Campaigning on Fear issues insults the electorate and appeals to the lowest common denominator. Issues like Taxes (fear that the darn gummint is taking away your money), Immigration (fear the nasty foreigners), Terrorism (fear for our safety), Drugs (fear the criminals), etc. Again it's not not much different from the stereotype of the old Southern politician jumping on the stump and shouting N******r!

And that is one of the reasons I stopped voting for Republicans in general in 1992. And why I will vote for Obama come November, I want to vote for someone who talks about Hope, and Change, and willingness to work. Not someone who spends all their time focused on the negatives of their opponent.

Fear, the Nanny-State & Helicopter Parents

So recently I have been thinking about Fear. And how Fear has become such an omnipresent advertising and political tactic that it has taken over our culture. Just this morning, watching cartoons with the kids while feeding Emily, in a single advertising break 2 out of the 3 ads I saw were focused on Fear. First was an ad about suntan lotion, which was all about the 'hidden damage' that was caused by the sun. The Second was for Lysol Hand sanitizer and the commercial almost gave me the willies much less some young impressionable kid. (Sometimes with all of these ads for cleaning materials it's a wonder we aren't a nation of OCD patients)

Well this has begun to grate on my nerves, as a parent I of course want to watch out for my kids, but I think there is a line that can be crossed and our culture has crossed it. Kids just can't go out and have fun any more. It's all about making sure they have the right protective gear, and cleaning up while playing, and not playing with anything that might be considered unsafe. And of course you have the 'Helicopter Parents' who hover around their kids, in play grounds and play areas etc. who don't even let their kids play outside without adult supervision within 5 feet.

Well my concern is what we are doing not only to our kids but also to our own psyche. We have become so protective and cautious. And when people become adults it is not the parents that are expected to hover around, it is the government. Our culture has reached the point that we are losing the old American individualism. Instead of the rugged individual, toughing it out, figuring things out for yourself. We have a culture of people who have to be told to be careful that coffee you bought is hot, watch out when climbing on that rock, you might fall etc.